#ik it was about them seeing their dad again too
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
There are dozens of funny blogs to kill time on Tumblr.
Text
i worry a lot about some transfems and its not me trying to be like "im better than you" or some shit its bc some of them remind me of me when i was a kid and new into being considered a girl/woman and being really naive thinking people would treat me better than they would- like i knew people were gonna be shitty but i wasnt prepared for the sheer amount of dehumanization and being reduced to just a sex object... idk... I just want some of you out there to be careful...
#ik its hard to convey tone and emotion through text but i do really worry.#im sure people have felt the same way about me being new into being considered a guy too. Ik i wasnt prepared for how emotionally distant#guys can be. and how like. atomized we all are and how a lot of guys only know how to interact with the world through violence and#being a dick and .-. basically how a lot of guys are just bullies. idk.#i think if we have experiences that we think we can help others by sharing them and maybe preventing them from making the same mistakes#as us then we should share them yknow. idk.#for me at least it does in some ways feel like im a little kid again learning what its like to navigate a new social setting.#like i didnt realize how much playing pvp games with cis guys suck and ppl who grew up with that are just like. 'yeah. thats just how it is#im literally playing wow rn and playing on a pvp server and i literally never attack anyone sdhjdshjvvfd and ppl are just like.#dicks for NO REASON. im LITERALLY RUNNING AWAY. ugh#i get it dude! this is the only way you can feel like you have a big dick but cmon. you gotta accept the truth some day#^and having to learn to talk like that has been something ive had to adopt from dealing with cis dudes. fun#some transfems i want to grab by the shoulders and shake and be like 'DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF'#with a desperate plea in my gaze#'I WANT TO PROTECT YOU BUT I ALSO KNOW PPL HAVE TO LEARN SOME SOCIAL SHIT ON THEIR OWN BUT BY GOD ARE THERE#SOME THINGS I REALLY DO NOT WANT YOU TO HAVE TO FUCKING LEARN ABOUT THAT I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER AND#IS UNFORTUNATELY LIKELY TO HAPPEN TO ANY WOMAN'#why am i becoming a parent. i need to stop. problem is i care too much about people in spite of what ppl might think .-.#i worry so much thats why i yell at ppl online bc i dont want them to get hurt or do something to fuck themselves over idk.#i just... dont express it the best way. like a gym coach or something 🤦#i really am Dad Vibes now huh. how do i stop myself from becoming a dad. i dont even have kids.#well. i have a cat. the eternal rebellious teen. but still#i need to stop expressing my care and fear through anger. its not great. ppl misinterpret me too much w it. but im not mommy enough to#sugarcoat things and coddle people if i feel like thats whats happening. so idk.#i realize this might sound patronizing and im not trying to be at all. to transfems with more experience this is like 'duh' to them probabl#but I'm more talking to the young transfems I see online who seem like they dont go out much and i dont blame them at all for it#its fucking scary out here. especially as a woman. esp as someone alt righters fetishize. and im sorry.
0 notes
Text
Do I have to start saying not that anyone would care in that super duper passive aggressive way to guilt people into caring or what
#dora daily#I’m so tired#the one thing I’ve consistently wanted since I was a kid was to be cared about and seen 😜#yet I can’t even seem to get that ☠️ I honest to god am so tired like every day is another futile attempt to try to engineer what I say#specifically for the purpose of me hoping someone ANYONE would care#how I used to be sick when I was younger because I saw that the kids who would get sick or would get sad would get sm care and love but#I was stupid because I didn’t account for the fact that when I was sick I had to just suck it up or when I was sad I need to stop being such#a crybaby and get over it#what if I say I’ve had enough of just being shamelessly used by others for me to comfort them through their problems#but I always have everything thrown back at my face because somehow when it’s my turn my problems are uncomfortable or awkward#I don’t have energy for a single thing yet I force myself to talk to at least one person and trying to fix my relationship with just#literally talking it shouldn’t be that hard but I feel so worthless that even speech is impossible and makes me feel like I will literally#die. it’s been working kinda but now I just can’t help but feel so sick to my stomach about all this my head hurts really bad and I’m trying#not to cry and trying my hardest to make peace with the fact that in truth nobody will ever like me enough to care at all ever#not my mum not my dad or my siblings and certainly not my friends either#I’m so tired of always begging and pleading for someone to just notice I’m here too#or maybe it’s specific people#it’s so cruel to say all those overly nice things to me and not act on them#why else was I so psychotic about that girl ? obviously because she would shower me with the nicest things I’ve ever heard#but she says that to everyone she’s not consistent with me and we aren’t really friends#ik it wasn’t her intention but it doesn’t change the fact I have wanted to and I’m not even over exaggerating but actually off myself#because this is just proof I’m around to serve people’s dirty work and clean messes when I can’t even stand on my two feet anyways#isn’t it so stupid I’m just talking to myself here and most likely nobody will ever see it meaning this was just useless yet again#and the fact i can’t be free ever nor can i do anything about this to permanently end things because i am a coward and because the worst#part is that even after death I shall be tormented anyways#and let’s say I somehow survive an attempt I will literally be scarred for life and then I’d rlly want to be dead#it’s the way not even death can be a solace for this because there would only be more torture#I can’t leave this religion because leaving won’t change the truth but I’m so tired and worn thin of every single responsibility in my life#even tho I don’t have much the few I do have feel excruciating#life is too much and death is worse so why couldn’t my mum who’s strong willed said no to my dads family and not gotten married period 🧍♀️
0 notes
Text
fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
1 note
·
View note
Text
i had a dream my parents gave me up when i was young. i came home from school one day and they told me they didnt want me anymore.
but that isnt what the dream was about. i knew that already.
it was a dream about being wanted.
my older cousin had a room for me, a whole country away, with exposed auburn wood and a big bed. big canvasses, with tubs of paint. a soft carpet. billboards for photos of memories i would make. set up for me like the aquarium for a long waited fish of an excited child.
que parecidas from the lips of relatives and strangers alike. it means ‘how seeming’. or ‘how belonging.’ they were commenting on how we look alike. we do. i could almost let myself forget i wasnt always here.
my cousins children became my little sisters. i did ballet with mis hermanitas down the hallways of our home. they dont know theres someone who called me hermanita too - i could almost let myself forget that, too.
my old friends called me sometimes, but less and less, as i started forgetting english. maybe as i forgot the words for friend and mom and sister i’d forget them too. maybe i could let myself remember only amigo y mamá y hermana. only the ones that wanted me.
but not when you called me. i could feel the dream realize - i didnt know you yet when i left - you can’t be here. large oilspilled hands replaced your face with someone else. someone who made sense in a timeline where i am wanted. you don’t make sense here. but you wiped off all the other faces. it was always you. breaking through. reaching out to me.
i couldn’t forget. not you. i wished i could. i clung to this dream where i was wanted. i didnt want to remember. you hugged me as it begun to rain. the murals i painted on my walls washed away drop my drop. until downpours claimed my dance trophies and tutus. my pictures of made-up friends. the walls dripped bare until through the haze of rain it was my real life again.
but you still hugged me.
it was a dream about being wanted. it still was.
#the words in spanish feel so cringe to me rn but i think im just being self conscious#real dream i had btw#it was An Experience it was really vivid and i woke up crying#it was after visiting said cousin and her daughters#my dad took a picture of the two of us and the whole trip was showing everyone every time someone told me i looked like her#i miss them already :( i didnt get to see my little cousins very long and i know the next time i will they wont be near as little#like ik that when my family goes there its like a 3 week long party but still its so nice there#i wasnt built for a nuclear family man i want to live with extended family#anyways i thought of this again bc i saw something like ‘would you still love me if we never met’#and i was also kind of thinking about soulmates and how i feel like my ex was my soulmate even though it cant work between us#and i feel like thats what a soulmate is to me#someone that im in love with in every universe#and i love the person im closest too now very much but its never felt like theyre someone i couldnt have not met#even though i know i can be happy with them and have already found out i couldnt be happy with my ex#but then#theyre the one that showed up in this dream#a dream about if i never met them#and they still loved me.#blargh anyways#and Thats why i made this blog bc both people in question do follow me#and i Already wrote a post abt soulmates that lowkey was subtweeting the two of them#and Both people in question liked it dhjdsh#wait let me reblog it here
0 notes
Text
I will not fall into the trap of rewriting everything because my writing skills have improved since starting the work
#like it's now partially frustration at my previous lack of direction and lack of complex narrative purpose#which yes technically with this bit I don't actually need to have that but I would like to and can see what I can do#it doesn't help that the time I have spent writing this seems to have all smashed together into a big knot of sameness#I can do better. I want to do better.#I also don't know if keith's the right character for this. but it's his story he evolved with this story#and I also fear that if I change the character I will not use keith for anything and I don't want to because he's just a guy!!#he's just a guy.#and also I do think the character who would replace him would yet again be. very similar to the characters of kester#aka Whipping Boy (the shit he goes through man.) as well as snowy/teddy/jimmy/arthur (bitch syndrome)#it's mostly about the similarities to kester. and a couple of other characters you haven't seen yet because those stories are new#I'll tell you their names! one's raven he's a terrible dad (no really) one's just known as The Kid for now#because they're a kid. and they're edgy in terms of costume.#actually those stories and their specific reasons for being the way they are would make them distinct. it's just mostly. kester#and if you know why this would be you know.#sigh. it's boiling down to three things.#1. the fact I keep restarting projects because in the process of creating them my skill level increases to the point where I'm not satisfie#and keep starting over which is a death loop. it's something ik you should never do with comics n so on so why I'm even considering#it with writing I don't even know#2. I fear I will abandon keith as a character if I do what I'm beginning to think I need to#and 3. I fear the character who needs to appear in the story in its evolving direction is too similar to another character
1 note
·
View note
Text
The Littlest Surprise : ̗̀➛ Charles LeClerc
summary: when your lack of presence around the paddock is noted, fans start to speculate. little do they know the real reason for your disappearance…
pairing: charles leclerc x reader
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
liked by ynusername, carlossainz55 and 2,483,608 others
charles_leclerc: always a joy to have my beautiful niece and nephew at the race and enjoy my biggest fans cheering me on ❤️🏎️
328,605 comments
username1: wondering at what point yn actually decides to show her face again…
carlossainz55: and there i was thinking you were waving up at me 💔
charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 when you’re as cute as these two I’ll consider it 😘
username2: some support yn is constantly leaving you at races alone
username3: how come the whole family managed to be there apart from yn 🙃
maxverstappen1: it must be easy being the cool uncle with all that money to your name!
username4: the best uncle is gonna make the best dad too one day 😭
oscarpiastri: how come cousin oscar didn’t get to meet these cool guys!?
charles_leclerc: @/oscarpiastri they only wanna meet the cool drivers 😂
landonorris: @/charles_leclerc you shoulda brought them over to me then 😎
username5: I don’t wanna be that person, but it’s been a long time since we saw yn on the feed…
pierregasly: it was so nice to see them both this weekend 🫶🏻
username6: can we all just calm down, I’m sure yn and charles are fine!!
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 3,693,127 others
charles_leclerc: the race of dreams, so proud of how the whole team performed this weekend 🏆❤️
372,579 comments
landonorris: super race my friend, enjoy the celebrations 🎉
username7: a whole podium and still no sight of yn anywhere 🤔
username8: anyone thought that yn might just be busy??
maxverstappen1: btw I let you have this one 😂
charles_leclerc: @/maxverstappen1 yeah sure you did… 😂😂😂
username9: congratulations charles, so deserved this weekend 🏆
username10: at least the team is there to celebrate with you 🙄
carlossainz55: ik how much this means to you, couldn’t be happier for you brother ☺️
username11: I’m sure yn and charles will celebrate together, with privacy…
username12: I’m so proud of you winning your home race!!
arthur_leclerc: I’ve got the perfect plans for this evening don’t worry about a thing 🤔
charles_leclerc: @/arthur_leclerc that immediately makes me worry 😬
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
liked by arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 2,979,261 others
charles_leclerc: enjoying the off season with my favourite people. just a reminder to mind your business during this off season, there’s nothing to worry about with me 🤍🌊
276,318 comments
username13: charles really telling us to mind our damn business 😂
oscarpiastri: if you need anything you know where I am!
username14: hoping this is charles’ way of telling us him and yn are fine 🙏🏻
landonorris: couldn’t agree with you more 👏🏻
username15: I always knew you guys would be alright!!
carlossainz55: I’ve got your backs always ☺️
danielricciardo: sending you both good vibes for the summer ☀️
username16: enjoy the break charles and the peace and quiet for a while!
arthur_leclerc: getting ready for the best summer ever 💪🏻
username17: hope you and yn get to have the rest you deserve ☀️
carmenmmundt: if yn needs me, I’m only a phone call away ❤️
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
liked by charles_leclerc, iamrebeccad and 538,708 others
ynusername: we’ve been keeping a little secret. charles and i are so proud to tell you that baby leclerc will be with us in the new year. it’s been a far from easy process but we’re so excited 👼💞
32,129 comments
charles_leclerc: you’ve been so incredibly strong, I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of you ❤️
username18: ah I’m so happy for you guys ☺️☺️☺️
username19: so pleased to hear you’re on the mend yn 💞💞
arthur_leclerc: present and ready to be the coolest uncle in the world 🎉
username20: I’m so ready for charles’ dad era!!!!
lilymhe: cannot wait to visit you and get all the baby cuddles in the world soon 👼
username21: shout out to all the people sending congratulations who were convinced they’d broken up 🙄
carlossainz55: I’m gonna be back at ferrari every week making sure I visit now 😂
charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 can williams offer you an adorable baby like we can??
username22: this is the best news ever, cannot believe my fave duo are going to be parents…
pierregasly: ik just how much you guys have wanted this, couldn’t be happier for you both!!
username23: I’ve been dreaming of a post like this for so long and now it’s finally true 😭
oscarpiastri: buzzing to welcome another leclerc into our family 😂🫶🏻
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
liked by oscarpiastri, pierregasly and 3,126,084 others
charles_leclerc: making sure to capture all the moments with my best friend and bump 📸
427,102 comments
landonorris: the caption said best friend…but I wasn’t on this trip with you??
charles_leclerc: @/landonorris do I have to explain this to you??
username24: it’s not fair how two expecting parents can be so cute ☺️
ynusername: thank you for choosing the photo where I don’t look like a swollen mess 😘
charles_leclerc: @/ynusername you look breathtaking in every photo I have of you!
username25: I bet charles’ camera roll is absolutely adorable rn 😭
arthur_leclerc: you better be taking care of the best sister in law in the world!!
ynusername: @/arthur_leclerc you’re only saying that cause I’m pregnant 😂
username26: I wish I could pull off pregnancy as well as yn omg
username27: the cutest set of photos I’ve ever seen in my life
maxverstappen1: make the most of all the peace and quiet whilst you still can!!
username28: now this just makes me feel incredibly single 💔
username29: this is the definition of living the dream now
carlossainz55: can’t believe you guys went out on the boat without me 😭
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
liked by charles_leclerc, carmenmmundt and 688,329 others
ynusername: one last race for me for the season, charles has officially now put me on house rest until the baby arrives 😂❤️
69,271 comments
username30: get plenty of rest baby mama… you deserve it!
charles_leclerc: forever cheering me on, see you at home soon 💕
username31: thank you for always being by charles’ side ❤️🏎️
georgerussell63: make sure if you need anything you give carmen a call!!
username32: what are we going to do without you in the paddock?? 😭
iamrebeccad: can’t believe we’re never gonna be in the same paddock again 💔
ynusername: @/iamrebecad I promise to come and visit as soon as I’m back 💞
username33: I can just imagine charles refusing to even let you lift a finger too!
username34: counting down til baby leclerc arrives now 🥺
lewishamilton: looking forward to being right beside you next year and babysitting 😂😂
username35: pls make sure you get plenty of rest, make the most of sleep whilst you can!!
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
liked by ynusername, oscarpiastri and 2,787,134 others
charles_leclerc: making sure to not let these two idiots feel left out as we prepare for the baby to arrive…turns out they are actually quite needy 😂🥺
427,098 comments
username36: I love how needy the leclerc boys are ❤️❤️
arthur_leclerc: I will be round your house every single day don’t you worry 😂
charles_leclerc: @/arthur_leclerc changing the locks as we speak!
username37: they’re definitely not gonna be left out, they’re never gonna leave your side 😂
landonorris: I feel like I’m looking at promo for the next boy band or something… 🤮
username38: not emotionally prepared for these photos…
ynusername: my three favourite human beings 🫶🏻
charles_leclerc: @/ynusername I better be the number one!!
username39: I love the bond these guys have 🥺
oscarpiastri: seems you were forgetting an important part of the family here 🤔
username40: bet charles is secretly hoping for a boy to add to this trio!!
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
liked by lilymhe, carlossainz55 and 693,172 others
ynusername: btw charles has been using this holiday to practice everything he knows about babies and doing nothing else 😂 according to him he’s perfect 🥺
57,183 comments
username41: the baby isn’t even here yet but I already know charles is gonna be the cutest dad in the world
carlossainz55: rebecca says these photos have got her in her feels…so kindly stop 😩
ynusername: @/carlossainz55: bets it’s you guys next 🥳
username42: look at how much of a natural he is 😭
pierregasly: btw he’s not stopped telling me how excited he is to become a dad 😂
username43: my heart can’t cope with the dad feels rn
charles_leclerc: thanks for flexing how good of an uncle I am 💪🏻
username44: thank you yn for blessing my timeline with these 🙏🏻
landonorris: were these just an excuse to post topless charles again???
username45: if you ask me, charles is most definitely perfect 😂
username46: can the baby just hurry up and arrive now pls…
lilymhe: you just wait until it’s your baby he’s holding instead 🥲
ynusername: @/lilymhe I cannot wait 🥺
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 4,329,059 others
charles_leclerc: we are so happy to share that our baby boy is here…mum and son are doing amazing and i’ve just about stopped crying for now 🥺💕
576,301 comments
username47: crying. screaming. throwing up.
arthur_leclerc: I’ve never been prouder of the two of you than I am right now!!
username48: congratulations charles and yn, we’re so happy for you 🥺
oscarpiastri: welcome to the family little one 🥺😂
username49: another boy to add to the leclerc family 🥳
scuderiaferrari: welcome to the newest member of the tifosi ❤️🏎️
landonorris: I’ve been refreshing my feed all day 😂 so glad he’s here and healthy 💕
username50: his little face, I can’t cope with how cute he is 😭
carmenmmundt: glad to hear mum and baby are good, get plenty of rest you three 😘
pierregasly: it’s not fair, how do you guys manage to make such cute babies!?
username51: can already tell this dude is gonna be a heartbreaker one day!
lewishamilton: so pleased he’s here safely, congrats you two!!
username52: he’s finally here omg 🥺
carlossainz55: could not be happier for you guys, cannot wait to meet little man 💞
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#charles leclerc#charles leclerc imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x you#formula one#f1 reaction#formula one imagine#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc smau#formula x reader#formula 1 social media#formula one x reader#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 smau#formula one smau#f1 smau#f1 fluff#f1 x you#f1 fic
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Mini Me
With how shitty my life is rn, I keep having these depressive episodes. Turns out my depressive episodes breed fluff
Max's six year old son has just started karting and his wife has to take him. Boy oh boy, does he miss his wife and son.
"So, Max, can we expect to see your little one around the paddock today?"
Ever since the day he was born, Fabian Verstappen had been seen with his parents around the Formula One paddock. He was always smiling and waving at those he knew and those he didn't. Fabian Verstappen was the happiest boy around.
Max was very proud of his boy. He showed him off to whoever he could. When he was young, he sat on Max's hip while he completed interviews and such.
Fabian was Max's number one supporter (Tied only by Max's wife and Fabians mother, Y/N. She followed him around the world three times before agreeing to marry him. It was a year long engagement, and in that time Y/N found out she was pregnant. They managed to keep it hidden until after their wedding, although Y/N did have to get a dress that better fit her bump).
There was a year between Fabian being born and him being able to attend his first race. Christian was happy to get him fitted out in Red bull Racing merchandise. He got his own little hat and a too large Red bull shirt with a thirty three on it (Max had lost that years championship. Red bull had won the constructors but Max had just missed out on the WDC. Red bull had worked out the kinks in the car and Max was bound to win this year, just as he had the previous year).
This year was the first year Fabian and Y/N weren't there to cheer Max on. And interviewers certainly picked up on it.
"Uh, no," Max answered when they asked about Fabian. "He and my wife are at a karting event right now."
The interviewer gave him a nod. "Following in your footsteps perhaps?"
Letting out a laugh, Max nodded his head. "We can only hope," he said.
"Do you think we'll be seeing him in a Red bull Racing suit in the next fifteen years?"
Again, Max nodded his head. "If he's anything like his dad, he'll be in a Red bull Racing suit before that," he said and adjusted the cap on his head.
Max left the interview and checked his phone. As much as he wanted Fabian and Y/N at his race, he knew how important karting was to his son.
Max has always been Fabian's hero. His first full sentence was 'I wanna be like daddy'. Max and Y/N did whatever they could to make Fabian's dream come true.
The one thing Fabian wanted but he couldn't have was to have his daddy at his karting races, watching him. There had been a lot of screaming and crying while Max and Y/N tried to explain to him why his father couldn't be there.
But Fabian had made friends at his Karting matches. He and the other kids he had raced against got along like peas in a pod. Fabian's first ever play date was with his karting friends. Some of them had been sat with their eyes and mouths wide open while Max brought them juice. They couldn't believe he, their hero and favourite driver, was Fabian's dad.
Max pulled out his phone and checked his messages. Nothing from his wife yet, but Fabian's race should have been done, he realised when he checked the time.
Dialling her number, Max pressed his phone to his ear.
It took Y/N a moment to pick up. "Hey handsome," she said in a chipper voice when she picked up the phone. Her voice was distant and slightly distorted, and Max realised she was in the car.
"Hello, Liefje. How's our little racer?" He asked her.
"Daddy! Daddy!" Came Fabian's voice. "I won! I won! I won!" He shouted.
Well, that answered Max's question. His cheeks were warm as he smiled, listening to his son. "Ik ben zo trots op je, mijn jongen. Ik kan niet wachten om jullie twee weer te zien!" (I'm so proud of you, my boy. I can't wait to see you too again!)
There was a moment before Fabian responded. He was fluent in English and French, but he was only good at Dutch. It still took him some time before he could work out what Max was saying and respond.
"Papa, ik... heb een... trofee." (Daddy, I got a trophy.)
There was a certain sense of joy that filled Max whenever Fabian answered him in Dutch. "Fabi, make sure mommy sends me a picture of your trophy," he said.
"I will do, Maxy," Y/N responded for the little boy. "Fabi, what do we say to papa?"
Again, Fabian was quiet for a moment. "Oh!" He suddenly cried from the back of the car. "Good luck with your race, Papa! Maybe you can win like me!"
The Verstappens laughed.
"Good luck, Max. Call me after you've won."
"I will, Liefje. I love you."
"I love you too."
Max hung up the phone after that. He his qualifying to get ready for. As he got ready, though, he spent the entire time thinking about his wife and son. He checked his phone constantly, waiting for Y/N to send over the picture of Fabian and his trophy.
No father had ever been prouder of his little boy than Max. Fabian was his everything and he couldn't wait to see him in the big leagues. Who knows, maybe Max would still be racing alongside him. Maybe he'd have Horner's job, team principle of Red bull Racing while his son raced as their number one driver.
No matter what, Max would always be Fabian's number one supporter.
#max verstappen#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x female reader#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen smut#max verstappen x reader smut#f1#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula one#formula one imagine#formula one x reader#formula 1#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#mv1 imagine#mv1 x reader#mv1#mv1 smut#mv1 x reader smut
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
spill your guts
sirius black x reader one-shot ! warnings: miscommunication? (apparently, that’s all ik how to write), friends to lovers, mentions of injury, no war AU! word count: 6,730 masterlist a/n: sorry I've been MIA uni is BEATING my ass and i rewrote this like 35 times, enjoy!
“I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with my quidditch bat” Sirius's clammy skin and the breeze that flew in from the window you had slightly cracked open when he awoke hyperventilating, caused goosebumps to crawl up his skin. You stayed quiet at his confession, your eyes trained on his face but his burned holes into your baby blue duvet. “And all he does is scream and cry for help-“
He took a sharp breath, this was one of those rare times when everything rotting inside him tried spilling out. For many years it was just James and Remus, Peter occasionally, but now he found that he couldn’t help but want to spill his guts to you. You stayed quiet as he spoke, scared to say anything that would cause him to shut himself in again.
”And maybe halfway through, I realized that it has more to do with me killing him than it ever did protecting myself.” Sirius never spoke of his father. His mother usually plagued his nightmares and it was the abuse he was more inclined to share.
Not his father's.
”He was really pushing his luck-“ His dry laugh, seemed cruel, but you could see how his fingers fidgeted, playing with a small thread on the edge of his boxers. The need to light a cigarette flashed in his mind.
You knew the man was dead. You were with Sirius and the rest of the marauders the day he was buried. After everyone else had left the funeral, the brothers stared at the coffin on the altar of the mausoleum the rest of their family rested in. Regulus didn’t speak a word but gripped Sirius’s arm with white-hot knuckles. Sirius put his cigarette out on the shiny, polished wood, one last act of defiance. His brother nodded, almost as if in approval, but not quite, and apparated away with their family house elf soon after. Sirius linked his arm with yours. You didn’t ask how he died, nor did you ask about the brothers' relationship now that both of their abusers were dead and buried. Now that everything between them rotted away.
You never wanted to push the boundary more than he’d let you. Your relationship, if that’s what you could call it, was already precarious as it was.
Tonight had started like many others, Sirius knocking at your door. The flat you shared with Dorcas in front of the one he shared with Peter and Remus. And you answered, you always did.
“you look good tonight-“ You thought the way too small sleeping shorts were the reason he said so, it wasn’t the mismatched socks or the oversized muggle band tee you had stolen from their dorm fifth year. Definitely not the messy, bed-ridden hair. He had only seen your face, the glint in your eyes, and the pull of your smile. That had been enough for him to decide you were the most beautiful creature on the planet. “can I sleep in your bed?” You said yes.
You always said yes.
You didn’t have sex. But you slept together, his fingertips digging into the supple skin of your waist as he slept with his face buried in your neck. You often played with his hair, tracing spirals on his back until he snored softly. You wouldn’t have guessed that tonight would end up with him waking up, in a cold sweat and gasping for breaths, much less confessing his dreams of murdering his already deceased father.
You didn't hold that against him.
You took a hesitant hold of his trembling fingers, he seemed to welcome the touch as he intertwined his fingers with yours.
He pulled you close to him again after he laid back down. The window remained open with the nippy night breeze flowing in, but his skin eventually lost its goosebumps and his grip ultimately loosened, he was soft and warm and moldable now. He melted onto your side and you couldn't help but stare. At his perfect nose and perfect lips, the weight of the world that he held on his shoulders faded away when he slept, even if just for a few hours.
You reveled in the fact that it was your bed he felt this comfortable in.
You hoped it was only yours.
-
Even the mornings where he had crawled out of your bed and your flat, the ones where you awoke alone and cold, he stayed in your head. He had imprinted himself on your mind, he had made it his home. Sirius Black, the man you were not dating, but the man you shared your bed with, occasionally made breakfast with in between fits of laughter. The man who had declared very loudly, and very drunkenly, that you'd make the perfect girlfriend at a party four months ago, and yet continued to ignore any hint that there might be something else between the two of you. Your bed felt cold the rare nights he didn't knock at your door, at this point your entire apartment called for his presence. Dorcas joked that he was your third roommate.
You always wondered if he had found some muggle girl to woo for the night, sleep in her foreign bed, and disappear in the morning. You wondered if he ever stayed 'til the morning in their beds, if he enjoyed them more than he enjoyed you. If your bed and your embrace weren't enough.
Until there was a knock at your door, the clock marked 1:27 am.
"A long time ago, my great-great-great-great-grandfather took something that did not belong to him," You wondered if this would also become ritual, him baring his heart naked. Baring his family's sins, his sins, to you. As if your divine acceptance would tip the scales, and that it would weigh his heart as pure. Your skin was the one riddled with goosebumps this time, as the cold that seeped through the window nipped at the thin material of your shirt and you duvet stayed discarded at the foot of the bed. You didn't mind it. He blew the smoke of his cig out the open window and turned to look at you again, unapologetically staring into your eyes. "And that is why I kind of look the way I do, 'm part Veela," you wondered if his confessions were a new level of intimacy you had gained access to.
"As if I couldn't tell," he gave you a crooked smirk, the type he gives you when he's about to make some obscene, dirty joke. He didn't this time though. You visibly saw his shoulders relax when you made a quick quip, ignoring the heavy atrocity of his ancestors. It wasn't him after all, why would you hold it against him? He hummed, reveling secretly in your compliment. Maybe you genuinely did think he was beautiful. Regardless of the tattoos that now littered his body, or the scars of abuse that would never leave him, or even the random bruises that sometimes stained his porcelain skin, from his bike, from Moony's transformations, from everything. Maybe you even saw past the commitment issues, and unspoken words, or the fact that he left you to wake up to an empty bed often.
Maybe, somehow, you were able to look past all of that. All of him.
Sirius knew it was wishful thinking.
-
“Don’t look at me like that Moony,” Sirius said with a groan as he stood at the door, still holding the handle from closing it. Remus glared at him from the top of his cup as he sipped his tea, Sirius really wanted to skip the whole lecture, you woke up early meaning he also had to, and had to make the treacherous journey across the hall. He glanced at the clock on the wall, it glanced 6:30 am back at him. Why was Remus even awake?
“you’re a prat Padfoot-“
”I needed some sleep, it's not like we're-“
“It doesn’t matter, what you’re doing to that poor girl is horrible, if you really can’t sleep drink some tea, go to a physician” Remus turned his back to Sirius, angrily cleaning his cup in the sink, although he couldn’t see him, Sirius knew Remus’s face was twisted into one of disappointment and anger. “you know she loves you, and you use it instead of telling her there will never be anything between you-“
”I love her”
”You’re not in love with her, are you?” He turned the water off, turning around with a glare as Sirius stayed quiet. “She is.”
Sirius didn’t know what he felt for you if he was honest. He loved you, though. He had always loved you. From the days you ran around with the four of them around Hogwarts, when you passed notes in class, when you accompanied him on secret trips to the kitchens, when you helped clean his wounds at Potter Manor the summer he ran away. Sirius has always loved you.
Remus might think that’s worse.
”Stop sleeping with her and having breakfast with her the morning after, Merlin-“ he took a deep breath, his fingers coming up to rub his temples in frustration and the Welsh accent seeped into his words, “What the hell are you thinking Sirius?”
Remus knew he was being tough, but he felt bad. He felt bad about the way your eyes always trailed after the boy, and how you always stared at Sirius’s closed bedroom door when you were over for tea. You needed to be able to move on with your life. It didn’t help you and Dorcas lived right in front of them.
”Alright Moony,”
“You’ll leave her alone?” Sirius refused to meet the taller boy's eyes.
”I’ll try”
-
Sirius did not listen to Remus.
He never did really, but he felt guilty now. He stared at you from your bed, you paced around stripping away the day, being a healer at St Mungo's was an arduous job most days. Some it was just kids with dragon pox and their mothers who came with worry stitched in their souls, doing rounds with residents that had been there longer than you, the older ladies always gave you candy. You didn't know where they were getting it from. Most nights you dragged yourself into your apartment late enough you might as well say it’s morning, and dropped, ruined and exhausted, on your bed. The worst days, it was back-to-back shifts of trying to heal curses, creature attacks, and mysterious maladies that left you drained and hopeless. Ones that made you fear the magical world that surrounded you. These nights you would've sought Sirius out, the way he did you, but you didn't need to. He was always there, somehow knowing and waiting outside your door. Sometimes, he was just exiting his apartment, going to knock on yours when you came up the stairs, other nights, like this one, he waited for you. He sat on the floor with his back against your door and his eyes closed until he heard your footsteps. He stood and greeted you silently with a kiss to your temple.
He trailed after you, into your room and onto your bed. So he sat, his back against the wall and the bottom parts of his legs hanging from the bed. He didn't say much, he observed as you sighed and sniffed, wiping your eyes as you muttered to yourself. He watched in awe as you took off the green healer robes they made you wear, your buttoned shirt coming off with it.
“I don’t understand how hard it is to keep your kid away from places like those, the kid was barely five and now he has all these welts-“ you huffed in frustration as you stripped off your pants and walked into the bathroom, the door open so you could continue to ramble “how does a five-year-old get cursed? I had to call the Ministry-“
Sirius didn’t think he could deny the fact that he reveled in these moments, he couldn't hide it for the life of him. The ones where you were so comfortable with him, walking around in your mismatched underwear angrily rambling about negligent mothers and how now you have to testify at the Ministry next week. It was laced with domesticity and a cloying sweetness that covered his skin. He wanted to stop you and kiss you silly. To sleep with you, in all your naked glory, and not care because you’d be together. He shook away the need to keep you for himself. He shuffled close to the edge of the bed, his feet finally touching the floor and he picked up a trinket on your nightstand. He bought it for you when he visited France last summer. He promised Regulus he'd gone to see him a few days. It went well, he realized. He also thought of the fact he didn't tell you that's what he went to do.
”Sirius?"
"Hm?" he finally focused back on your words, his eyes flickering back to you and the small smile that formed on your lips when you saw what he had in his hand.
"I said, what'd you reckon will happen to the kid?" your smile faded, and you picked nervously at your cuticles as you thought about him. Would they take him away? Would he be put in an orphanage? It was protocol you had no other choice but to call... and yet you couldn't stop thinking about it. You started moving around your room again, like a bee collecting pollen from flowers. Bees were cute, right? Sirius hoped you wouldn't think he was silly, Bees were cute, he decided. You grabbed a couple of items of clothing, collecting them in one arm as the other one massaged your scalp.
"I dunno," he remembered to answer now, "I had never thought about it,"
He could hear you turn on the shower, but you padded back into the room as the water warmed. You looked at him, still in your underwear, the eye bags underneath your eyes were visible, your makeup long faded by now.
"You never went because of your mum?" He shook his head, and you shuffled closer, the side of your leg pressed against the bed and your knee knocking with his as you looked down at him. Your hand went to caress his hair instinctively, his soft glossy curls sliding through your fingers easily. "I'm sorry no one noticed Sirius," this part was a whisper now, you feared overstepping a boundary you weren't aware of. He smiled at you, his hand coming up to pinch your naked side.
You yelped and batted his hand away with a laugh.
"She's good and dead now, I reckon it doesn't matter anymore-" He gave you a saddened smile, his nimble fingers grabbing a hold of your hand pulling you closer to him again. It was private moments like this, that confused you. The intimacy of it all, the way his lips pressed against the back of your hand and looked at you through half-lidded eyes. You were suddenly hyper-aware of how naked you actually were. You had been friends for the majority of your life, shame was long gone, but when you were so close you could feel his breath across the stretch of your tummy, it felt different.
"I reckon it does matter," You pressed a small kiss to his forehead and unpeeled yourself from him, "don't bury it all inside you, Mr Black"
You floated away now, in the sea of your anxiety over your actions, closing the bathroom door behind you.
Sirius had a lot of destructive behaviors, he knew that. The smoking since he was fifteen, the reckless way he rode his motorcycle around, the growing collection of tattoos on his body, the tumultuous relationship he had with his brother, Merlin definitely the excessiveness in which he drank, not to mention the way he showed up at the Potter's every once in a while seeking James's comfort and unconditional love, ignoring the fact that the man was a father and had a million things on his shoulders. Lily didn’t seem to mind. At least he was a decent godfather, took care of Harry to perfection, it took a few tries but he got it. Loved him with his entire heart. But you, Sirius, thought you might be the worst of it.
The worst thing he’s ever done to himself is allow for this domesticity between you.
You came back from your shower with your hair slightly damp and smelling of your signature body wash scent, sweet and enveloping. The oversized shirt that covered your torso was almost long enough to cover 'til your upper thighs. It made Sirius’s lips curl into a lopsided smile that he tried to repress.
He was lying down now, starfishing on your bed as he stared at the ceiling.
”Are you coming to bed?” The clock blinked 3 AM at you, and Sirius reached his hand out. You walked closer to him, a small smile playing on your lips. You sent the towel you had been using back to its spot with a swish of your hand. Basic handless magic was a difficult skill to gain but Merlin so gratifying.
“I forgot my pants silly,” he shook his head no, and reached for your hand with a bit more effort, grabbing a hold of it and pulling you down with him.
”Let’s just sleep, you don’t need those-“ He covered the two of you with your heavy duvet as you laughed, he leaned over you to turn off the lamp on your nightstand.
Yes, Sirius thought as he buried his face in the crook of your neck and threw one of his arms over your torso. You were the worst thing he had ever done to himself. He would never be able to let go, your hands stroking his hair until one of you fell asleep, the small ‘night that slipped past your lips just as your eyes fluttered shut. He'd never get enough of your saccharine scent that enveloped him like a blanket, comforting and warm. All-encompassing and suffocating, in each other’s arms every night, in the comfort of your room.
Sirius knew it deep in his heart, what he had been afraid of for so long. Maybe Remus had it all wrong, maybe he was in love with you.
Because what else could this feeling be?
-
You tried to ignore the ache in your heart when you woke up to an empty bed. You tried to forget the fact that you’d probably do it all again tonight, and the next night too, all to bear the fruit of nothing.
Dorcas shook her head and she pushed a cup of coffee towards you.
“Don’t look at me like that Dorcas -“
”I love Sirius as much as the next guy but-“ you picked up the coffee and sighed at its warmth “He’s being a prat honey-“
”It's not like we’ve been having sex, he just needs some sleep” You shook your head and looked away, afraid that your eyes would betray you, “hell I needed sleep too”
”It doesn’t matter, Y/N you’re a healer get him a stock of sleeping draught and yourself some too while you’re at it…” She furrowed her brows but you stayed quiet, not daring to meet her gaze “I know you love him, but I’m not so sure he sees you that way-“
” I’m not in love with him”
“I didn’t say you were in love,” Dorcas sighed now, placing her cup on the sink and walking towards the small chimney in your flat. “Promise me it won’t happen anymore, that you’ll try to break it off”
”I’ll try Dorcas,” she didn’t believe you much, you didn’t believe yourself either, the Floo Flames engulfed her body.
It was hard to, separate yourself from him that is. Sirius Black was addicting, simply from the way he moved. Just watching him is entrancing on its own. Speaking to him, with his suave words and low tone. Everything about him, everyone craved to have a simple conversation, have even an ounce of his attention. Sleeping in his arms though, heart to heart? Now that was in a league of its own.
-
You dragged yourself into your building, the day bearing down on you. You half hoped that Sirius would be waiting outside your door again, sitting waiting for you to lay in his arms. Disappointment added to the sack of bricks you felt like you were carrying when you turned to see the empty hallway. You sluggishly made your way up to your door, hoping to see Sirius's head pop out of his apartment door. Giggles came down your hall, as you fiddled with your keychain trying to find your key. The drunken whispers got louder and just as you grabbed a hold of your key you heard your name echo softly down the hall.
You dropped your keys in surprise as you took in the sight. Sirius stood rather close to a short woman, her bubbling laughter and her roaming hands didn't stop when he let his arm drop from her shoulders. All color drained from his face and his drunk, loose smile fell quickly from his lips. The girl that clung to him like gum to a shoe hadn’t noticed your presence nor how Sirius seemed to sober up at the sight of you.
You scrambled to pick up your keys as the blonde started whispering in his ear, starting to pull at him again. He called out your name one more time, moving towards you now, dragging the poor girl down the hallway with him.
“have a good night Sirius-“
You miraculously managed to get your key in the hole swiftly, turn it, open, and lock yourself inside just in time. Pressing your back against the door, your heart felt like it might leap out of your chest. You had always hoped that he wasn’t seeing other people, or meeting anyone else. And the absence of encounters just like this one had solidified that thought, you were properly convinced. Now though. You had just been lucky enough to not encounter them. You thought back, it was impossible not to feel like Sirius’s look had been one of guilt. Like he got caught. But the two of you weren’t anything.
You were painfully reminded of that fact tonight.
You hadn't noticed how fast or how hard your heart was beating. You felt like it was ready to break through your ribs, leaving you shattered and with a void in your chest. But it didn't do such a thing. No, you stayed perfectly intact, even as you felt the panic batter your chest and the notion that you were definitely not the only woman in his life torturing your heart.
"What's wrong?" Dorcas said in a whisper as she looked up, her large glasses sliding down her nose. The yellow lamps that decorated your apartment gave Dorcas's dark skin a low golden tone, like the type you'd see in paintings of candlelights and sultry lounges. Marlene was over today, her short, bleached blonde strands fanning over her face as she slept with her head on Dorcas's lap, her arms wrapped around the girl's waist. If it had been any other time you would've run for the muggle Polaroid camera Lily bought you, flashing a picture of the two of them.
"Sirius was just outside with some girl," Dorcas gasped now and shot up, dropping Marlene's head on the couch. The blonde groaned awake and asked what was wrong.
"Sirius brought home a girl" The blonde shot up as well and the girlfriends ran to the door, trying to look through the peephole. "Well this whole thing has gone arse over tit hasn't it?" Marlene pushed Dorcas off for her turn at the peephole.
"There's no 'thing' between us anyway"
"Well, shit" The blonde outside kept pawing at Sirius, trying to reach his face, to eat it Marlene guessed. He stared at the door, trying to hold the girl who stuck to him back. Marlene felt as if she was in a staring competition. She knew Sirius couldn’t see her but she still liked the thought that she’d win.
Dorcas was the first to peel herself off of the door and pull you into a tight embrace. Her hand rubbed circles on your back and Marlene followed, embracing the two of you. They smelled coconut-y and sweet, even the remainder of Marlene's stronger perfume wafted over you ever so slightly. It was grounding, really, to be hugged tightly by your closest friends, the smell of home, the comfort of knowing that you were loved, even if it wasn't by him.
"I'll hex him for you if you want" Marlene's suggestion, although serious, wasn't necessary. You shook your head sighing.
"He didn't do anything-" Dorcas flicked your head now, a frown forming on her face as the three of you parted.
"Like hell, he didn't-"
"He doesn't owe me anything 'Cas don't be harsh"
"He's been sleeping in your bed for the better part of six months I reckon he owes you a lot" Dorcas gave you a look of pity now, like you were a wounded abandoned animal.
"I say we set his motorbike on fire," Marlene suggested casually like she was talking about the weather. You slowly peeled your layers off, as you dragged your feet towards your room. You knew the girls felt bad for you, but it was your fault. Who in their right mind would let Sirius Black so into their hearts, knowing that no commitment would ever come from it?
You.
You would.
From his muscles softened under your touch, his warmth spreading to your body, to the way he mumbled in his sleep. It was something your soul craved to see, to feel, to hear. He had bewitched you, without you wanting him to, without meaning to allow him. You threw yourself on your bed, starfished and in your underwear, freshly showered. The water did not wash away the regret nor the hurt. They only made you think of coming back to Sirius in your bed, smiling and pulling you into his arms. Your sheets were cold, and tucked in neatly, very unlike the cozy mess Sirius usually made of it. So you stared, long and hard at the white of your ceiling. You prayed sleep would take you, you were exhausted. Like your body had been beaten, like your heart had split in two.
No such sleep would overtake you. Instead, you could hear frantic knocks on your front door, your muscles twitched but you didn't dare move, like if you breathed he'd know. You heard Dorcas rip the door open, the force of it reverberating through your small flat.
"You got some balls coming here," It was muffled, but you could still hear the venom in her voice. She didn't let him speak. "You're going to die cold, sad, and alone Black— don't you ever forget it" She threw the door closed now, the bang shaking your room again. It was jarring to hear that, especially from someone as sweet as Dorcas was, and she meant it. Hell, you felt like she would make sure of it, no matter the cost.
"Sweetheart-" Dorcas spoke through the door, her knuckles grazing the wood but not quite knocking. You didn't answer.
A muffled she must be asleep, and you felt like you could breathe again. You knew Sirius wouldn't end up alone. If he did romantically, the friendships in his life would fulfill that void anyway. He had a family. Most of your friends were his, and you knew, that you could never ask any of them to walk around the uncomfortable wall that seemed to form between you, or god forbid pick sides. It was stupid, you knew there was no reason you should be upset. You were not together. You weren't anything to him, and he wasn't supposed to be to you.
But oh he was. He was everything.
-
On nights like these, you thought you might reach your limit and have to be admitted into the psychiatric ward of St Mungo's yourself. You felt sweaty, and the stuffy healer robes didn't help to ease the heat that crawled up your skin. Your hair felt frizzy and out of place, and your buttoned-up shirt felt like it was choking you, but you couldn't stop. You couldn't afford to nor could the patients that kept coming in. The St Mungo's emergency room was nothing short of a battleground, it was vile and the worst turn to get. Especially during the overnight shift. These were the types of shifts that made you second guess your career choice, the ones that made you want to throw in the towel and drag yourself back into your apartment and never come out.
"Y/N come on, they're bringing in a flying vehicle accident-" you frowned as you let your turn partner drag you towards one of the newly entered patients. For the first time that shift, you felt dread crawl up your throat, your heart skipping a beat as you saw Sirius lying unconscious on the bed. For a second you thought you had forgotten how to breathe, your fingertips felt numb and your ears rang. His perfect nose was bloody, his perfect lip bruised and split. There were scrapes on his cheeks, and his jeans had been ripped and stained red. It wasn't noticeable at first, but the metallic smell and the caked-on blood on his black jacket became visible as you approached, it all made it clear, it had been bad.
You couldn't understand what your partner was telling you, the ringing in your ears too loud for you to make out the words, but as they moved Sirius onto a proper bed, it all came crashing down again. Repeated prayers of no's rang through your head along with pleas to a higher power to let this be a nightmare, one you'd wake up from cold and sweaty but knowing he's safe. No such relief came, and your fingertips buzzed with electricity once again, moving so fast it was like you moved at two times speed. You couldn't think of anything but prayers, to what? You didn't know, but you did so nevertheless. To the stars, and the heavens, or the magic that ran through your blood, through his. You didn't know. But you muttered words of hope and love, as you cleaned his wounds, hoping he'd hear you.
You busied yourself and basically assigned yourself to his care, after they moved him out of the ER, into one of the beds in the rows of other patients divided by sheets. You barely left his side, just to shower and change into the spare clothes Dorcas had brought you reluctantly, mildly upset you were taking care of Sirius. You ate next to him, talked to him, read your favorite poems, and hummed his favorite songs. He mumbled here and there, and his eyes would flutter sometimes which you took as a good sign but the tension didn't leave your shoulders, and your prayers never ended.
James, Remus, and Peter passed by, dropping some baked goods off and comforting you with teary hugs.
"I told him that bloody bike would kill him-" Remus said as he shook his head and sat next to Sirius for a bit, his hand on the boy's knee.
"How's he doing doc?" you rolled your eyes, amusement played in James's eyes at the pull of your lips. He had always secretly been a worrywart, but he played it off well as if his heart didn't almost beat out of his chest when he got the call.
"As long as he wakes up he'll be fine-" He smiled genuinely now, "Few broken bones," He hummed, looking at Remus and Peter huddled next to Sirius's bed.
"few broken bones hm? wouldn't be the first time." You talked for a while, each one of you ignoring the nagging feeling of worry. Sirius's boisterous laugh was poignantly missing from the conversation. But soon enough, James's father's duties called and he pressed a kiss on Sirius's forehead and one on yours very fatherlike and apparated away, Remus and Peter gathered themselves up as well not long after.
"Call if anything, okay doll?" Remus pulled you into a tight hug, his lips pressing against your temple as well. Peter gave you a small hug, his eyes trailing over Sirius's form sadly.
You were left alone again, the window panes that surrounded the hall letting some moonlight in. Time felt like a thick jelly, your eyes staring at the clock as you ran your hands through his hair, the exhaustion was quickly catching up to you. But the thought of another coffee made your stomach churn and your eyelids felt heavy like lead. So you gripped his hand tightly and laid your head against his arm.
If he woke up, you'd be there.
-
Sirius felt like he might be in heaven, the second his eyes fluttered open you were there. Your face pressed between his forearm and the bed, your hand tightly clutching his. He could feel the ghost of your lips on his skin and goosebumps threatened to crawl up his spine, his thoughts straying to your pout. Your closed eyes and your steady breathing made it clear you were sleeping, Sirius couldn't help but smile. He very rarely got to watch you like this, by some miracle he always fell asleep first and woke up second. You were so lovely, with your soft skin and the angelic glow from the light of the moon glaring against the curve of your face. If it wasn't for the stinging in his face or the way his ribs felt like they were collapsing in on themselves, Sirius would've sworn up and down he had died and gone to heaven.
He squeezed your hand, and the weight of the realization that you had been taking care of him fell on him. Guilt clawed at his throat, he had broken your heart and you still took care of him. He'll never forget the look on your face, the surprise, and the tears that threatened to fall. There was no other word to use besides heartbreak, and it had been his fault. He didn't know why he had brought her home, he didn't particularly fancy the girl, but the alcohol made his veins feel warm and she smiled at him and the impulsiveness and self-destruction within himself were a shoot-first ask-questions later duo that ruled his brain. He realized that you deserved more. More than him, more than the empty bed he left you with, or the avoidance of feelings. Sometimes Sirius wished you'd forget him. It would be better for you.
To forget his face, forget his name.
Your eyes began to pry open, and he couldn't help but spill his guts again.
"For so long I hoped I'd fall asleep at the wheel and crash my motorbike on the ride home-" Your heart jumped to your throat, your head shooting up at the realization he was awake. His words were raspy and as much as he tried they were barely a whisper. "But then you came back from your apprenticeship, and moved right in front and it felt like-" he looked away now, his fingers fidgeting with yours. "Like you were that light at the end of the tunnel." Your hand was still pressed against his.
"I stopped wanting to fall asleep on the bike, I just wanted to fall asleep with you"
"You are an idiot Sirius Black" The frustration gathered over the last two days flushed your system, tears threatening to fall over "you are so reckless and so utterly stupid-" tears flowed down your cheeks but you wouldn't let them fall, furiously wiping them away with your sleeve. He looked at you heartbroken.
"I know love"
"No," you shook your head now and stood up, his hand falling back to the bed "You don't know, all I do is worry and care, and you don't!" your laugh came out crueler than you meant but it came out nonetheless "You never care Sirius- Oh and imagine when I don't see or hear from you for days, and suddenly you're dragged in here looking like you're seconds away from dying-" you paced around as you went on, your hands running through your hair in frustration.
"I didn't think you wanted to see me" he stared at you now, hoping to catch your gaze. Hoping to see if you meant it, hoping to see, something. Something that would tell him what he so desperately wanted to know.
"I always want to see you" You locked eyes with his, his stupidly gorgeous stormy eyes. And he knew, from the pain in your eyes, from the way your pupils blew the second you looked at him, from the way you softened, anger dissipated when you looked at him. You didn't understand how anyone could look like that, how even scratched up he looked like he had been carved out of marble. "All I want is to see you," you were close enough for him to reach for your hand, even with pain shooting down his ribs, he did.
"I'm sorry,” you sat on the edge of his bed, closer than you had intended, as he spoke, looking at your intertwined hands. “and I’m sorry about the lass too-“
You scrunched up your nose, “I reckon that is none of my business” and he wondered how long you had to tell yourself that until you believed it.
”I sent her home, nothing happened-“
“you can go out with whoever you wish”
”I only want you”
You looked at him again, into his eyes, into his soul. Hoping to catch a flicker of truth. His eyes looked at you with hope and want, and you knew. Sirius would never lie to you, he might be a drunk, and emotionally unavailable, and Merlin knows that he’s a mess, but Sirius Black was not a liar, especially to you. He squeezed your hands, pulling them close to his chest, pressing them against his heart.
”I’m so in love with you, you drive me mad,” he said this last part with a laugh, pulling a teary giggle out of you. You couldn’t help yourself, the wetness of your eyes and cheeks coming without you meaning it to. He swiped a thumb under your eyes, a nervous laugh threatening to spill from his lips, a watery smile forming instead.
“I am regrettably, in love with you as well” You smiled now, looking away from his scoff. His lips curled into a full-fledged smile now, as did yours.
“Am I that awful?”
”I fear so Mr Black,“ you glanced at him teasingly, the glint in your eye he loved so much returning.
“I reckon you wouldn’t want to kiss a tosser like me then,” You couldn’t help but smile, as the both of you subconsciously leaned closer. His hands cupped your cheeks as your foreheads pressed together. “Can I—“
You didn’t let him finish, finally closing the distance between you. He kissed you shyly, a trait you didn’t know he possessed. You kiss him soft and open-mouthed, a small hum coming from his chest. His fingers hold on to your face, desperate to keep you close, and and you revel in the fact that his kiss turns hungry like he’d never get to kiss you again.
You part with a small satisfied sigh, foreheads pressed against one another and eyes fluttered shut. Sirius thought about the many times he wondered what this would feel like, to press his lips against yours. He had dreamt of this for months; when you walked around your room in your underwear ranting or every time you opened the door, he dreamt of kissing you in the mornings and late at night.
Sirius realized, as he pressed another kiss to your lips, he had dreamt of kissing you for years.
#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#marauders#the marauders#the marauders era#marauders era#padfoot#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#sirius blurb#sirius x you#sirius black/reader#sirius black angst#sirius x reader#sirius o black#sirius angst#sirius orion black#james & peter & remus & sirius#sirius black#padfoot x reader
725 notes
·
View notes
Text
DEVIL WEARS PINK | Eddie Munson [pt. 1]
summary ⇝ Eddie can’t help but be utterly infatuated with you, hawkins high’s most popular, prissy and preppy girl, who has one mean, vile streak for everyone, everyone but him.
warnings ⇝ bitchy!reader, language, bullying, mentions of divorce, sexual towards the end but overall not too bad, did I mention reader is a BULLY?? Ik there’s no smut, but mdni
part 2
You're everything Eddie doesn't like (or so he thought)
You dress in pink, you're preppy, you're popular. You're known to have the 'wrong' kind of fun, your type is jocks as jacked up dudes. Everyone at Hawkins High is scared of you on different degrees as you've been known to lash out.
That's why people thought you were trying to manipulate Eddie when you were spotted one day, leaning over his desk and talking to him, or when you'd greet him in the halls, even with a quick wave.
"Dude! She's psycho! How can you not see that she's trying to dig her talons into you and brainwash you?!" Dustin screamed as the group sat at a cafeteria table.
"She's not that bad..." Eddie quietly replies.
"Oh no, l'm afraid you've already been brainwashed!" Dustin clutched his chest in panic, his eyes wide and eyebrows raised. "It's too late!"
"Come on man, it's not that big a deal!" Eddie groaned, leaning back in his chair.
"It kinda is," Mike shrugged. "She is like the devil in pink, don't you know what she did to Greasy McGregor?"
Eddie rolled his eyes, "what exactly did she do to McGregor?"
"She pretended like she wanted to, y'know...shaboink him in the janitors closet, stole all his clothes—and I mean all, then locked him inside." Dustin told him.
"When the janitor opened the closet, McGregor came running out, not caring about being covered," Mike said with a shake of his head. "He was the laughing stock for the whole month."
"...did you just say shaboink?" He laughed out loud, "man, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. And he's fine now, isn't he?"
The other boys exclaimed nervous looks.
"His dad had to enroll him in a different school in Barcelona."
"Yeah, cause that's soooo terrible, living in Spain,” Eddie rolled his eves again. "You're definitely overreacting."
Dustin shook his head, looking down and picking up a mini carrot before dipping it in the humus. "Point is, she's crazy and you're next."
"Or, hear me out, maybe I'm the first person to realise that she's actually a nice person. Crazy, huh?" he said sarcastically, waving his hands mockingly.
"Insane." Jeff mumbled.
Eddie crossed his arms and gave Jeff a pointed look, "Just because you think she's evil, doesn't make it true, you'd be shocked at how wrong you really are."
"Oh yeah? Then why is she laughing at Caity?" Mike jerked his chin to your direction, where you and your two tight knit friends were giggling at the poor girl who had her yogurt accidentally spurt all over her. Eddie turned his head, frowning as he caught sight of Caity wiping her face desperately with a handful of napkins.
He bit his lip, contemplating whether or not to say something or just ignore it.
"She's—." he started, but just sighed and shut his mouth, looking back down at his food.
"Save it dude, there's no point."
"Yeah, guess you're right." He said after a few moments, pushing his food around his plate, "Maybe I was wrong. She is kind of a dick."
"Oh yeah, big time." Dustin shook his head, the boys went back to talk about other stuff.
For the rest of lunch, Eddie kept his eyes down at his food, not daring to look anywhere near your direction, just keeping a low profile.
He got out of his seat as the bell signaled the start of the next class. He grabbed his food and tray, walking them over to the garbage bin and dumping the contents inside before throwing away the tray.
"Right...time for English..." he mumbled under his breath before turning around and walking out of the cafeteria.
Eddie contemplated skipping, but he had more absentees than present classes, and Wayne had scolded him so many times.
He let out a sigh as he made his way down the hallway.
"Why the hell do I even care..." He whispered to himself. He kept his head down as he walked, kicking himself mentally for thinking you might be anything other than what everyone told him you were.
"Hey, Eddie." You said, as you passed his desk. You were clutching your pink note book that had poorly drawn designs on it. You gave him a sugary smile that stretched across your glossy lips as he looked up.
Eddie looked up once more, his breath hitched as he was met with the bright smile that almost seemed to burn into his skull. He took a shaky breath before replying, "Uh, hey."
"I was wondering if you'd wanna hang out this weekend? There's this new Italian restaurant that opened and I've been wanting to go." You told him, shifting your weight from one foot to the other.
Eddie stared up at you, completely taken aback as you asked him to hangout with you.
This was the last thing he expected when he was warned to stay away from you.
But that wasn't what surprised him the most, no, what surprised him the most was that he wanted to say yes.
He swallowed hard, trying to find his voice as he stared at your face.
"What...me? You want to hangout... with me?" He asked quietly, trying not to seem to dumbfounded at the question.
"Do you know another Eddie?"
"No,” He chuckled, shaking his head. "But, I mean, don't you have other people you'd rather hang out with? People a lot cooler and more fun than me?"
"Cooler? Yeah. Fun? Maybe," you dropped down, leaning your elbows against his desk, your low cut top falling down a tiny bit. Your strawberry and blossoms scent filled Eddie's space. "But not as interesting as you." You whispered.
Eddie felt his jaw nearly drop as he got a better smell of your scent.
He tried his best to keep his eyes on yours, but you were giving him a hard time trying to do that as he tried not to let his gaze fall down to your chest.
"I'm—,” he was struggling with words again, looking down at your top for a split second. "I'm interesting?"
"Oh yeah, totally." Your voice was almost like a purr as you brought your manicured fingers to his hair, before gently grabbing a few strands and twirling it. Eddie's body felt like it was on fire from your words alone, and he had to fight himself to not shiver as you played with his hair.
He bit his lip, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart before speaking, "You sure you want to hangout with a freak like me?"
"Uhuh, I like freaks." Just as your words finished, Mrs O'Nelly entered the classroom, leaving you to smirk before pushing yourself off his desk and walking to yours.
Eddie nearly let out a swear word and just sat in shock, as he watched you waltz away back to your seat, leaving him completely flustered.
He sat there for a few seconds before looking forward and taking a deep breath to try and calm himself down. His mind kept going back to your words and your touch, burning the memory into his mind.
He had to snap himself out of it when class started, but he was barely paying attention all class, his mind occupied on just one thing.
Class had ended, and Eddie was quick to turn around, only to find you gone.
Eddie's eyes widened as he looked at your now empty seat, disappointment filling his chest.
He couldn't understand how he could be so upset over something so small. He never usually cared about girls like this, not even the girls in his D&D party were an exception.
He pushed his chair in and let out a huff as he picked up his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder.
"You're fucked, Munson." He whispered to himself as he raced out of there. He decided to screw the rest of his classes and leave to go to Family Video, where he knew he'd find Steve.
Eddie walked in, raising his eyebrows as he saw Steve behind the counter.
"Hey, Harrington." He called out to Steve, walking over to grab some tapes from the nearest shelf.
"Oh, hey dude. Shouldn't you be in class?"
"Yeah, but a couple of free periods won't hurt, right?" Eddie answered, waving a hand dismissively as he set the tapes down on the counter. He leaned on the countertop, letting out a sigh.
Steve just frowned before taking the tapes and scanning them, snickering on the stupid Sci-Fi and horror names. "Uh, what's up?"
Eddie huffed, "Oh nothing... well—actually...I need your help with something,” Eddie ran a hand through his hair, looking down at the counter in front of him. "Okay, promise you won't laugh at me?" Eddie looked up at Steve expectingly, biting his lip anxiously.
"I don't do promises." Steve told him as he put the tapes in a packet.
Eddie rolled his eyes, "Whatever, just don't laugh and try to be helpful. Now, tell me something...hypothetically speaking, right?" Eddie leaned in on the counter. "If a girl...and let's say this is also hypothetically a girl who's considered to be...popular for 'the wrong reasons', what would you say if she asked you to hangout?"
Steve gave him a confused look. "What wrong reasons, Eddie?"
"Uh...let's say she's been called a bully..." he rubbed the back of his neck, "A dick to more than just some kids at school, in fact, a whole bunch of the school."
Steve blew air out his mouth. "She wants to hangout with you?"
"Yeah, yeah, see, it's crazy, right?" Eddie threw his hands up. "Like, what reasons could she have? It's probably just one of her tricks, right? She's probably trying to get blackmail or something to hold over me, or hell, to hold over all of us."
"Did you ask her why?"
Eddie stared at Steve with a 'are you kidding me' look. "Are you insane? How am I supposed to ask her that without sounding like a complete and total idiot? Come on, man!"
"I don't know! Who is she anyways?"
Eddie paused, hesitating to say it for a split second before sighing, "promise you'll keep it to yourself?"
"I said I don't do promises." Steve put his hands up in surrender.
"God Damnit Harrington, fine!" Eddie grumbled in frustration before telling Steve your name.
Steve's eyebrows rose. "Oh, I remember her. Did you hear what she did to Greasy McGregor?"
"Yeah, Dustin told me all about it." Eddie rolled his eyes, "It doesn't matter anyway, what the hell am I supposed to do? She wants me to hangout with her, like actually hangout, and I have no idea what to do! It's driving me crazy!"
"Do you like her?" Steve winced.
Eddie froze, his eyes widened as he looked at Steve.
"No!" He said quickly, shaking his head. "Absolutely not! Wh-what gave you that idea?"
"I don't know, man. Look if you really don't like her, say no, easy."
"Yeah, yeah, easy...simple," He said, sighing before leaning his chin on his hand. He then sat up and groaned again, "God, I'm gonna sound like an idiot, but say, hypothetically, that I did like her. What do I do then?"
Steve looked at Eddie, his mouth opening to say something before a third voice popped in. "Don't listen to him for girl related issues!" It was Robin.
Eddie spun around, his mouth falling open a bit as he saw Robin peeking out from one of the shelves behind him.
"Jesus—you need to stop doing that, Buckley!" He exclaimed.
"If you do hypothetically like her, go out with her, but, she is a total wacko who will bite your head off, both of them, so perhaps take a gun and a knife and bear spray and a laser gun, do those even exist?" She rambled.
Eddie let his head fall back as he heard Robin's response. "Okay...yeah great idea...just turn the hangout into a whole damn military mission..." he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes once more.
"Look, maybe say no, and see her reaction? Take that as a hint to what you do after."
Eddie's mind went back to your smile, your laugh, your touch, that stupid strawberry and blossom smell—He shook his head harshly to snap himself out of it. He let out a sigh as he nodded, "Yeah...yeah, you're right. Thanks, Robin."
"But I still say bring the bazooka...just in case." Robin added jokingly.
"Yeah, yeah. Shut up..." Eddie smiled at her, flipping her off jokingly. The rest of the week was torture for Eddie. His mind was constantly plagued with thoughts of you. No matter how hard he tried to forget, he always ended up thinking of your beautiful smile or your laugh that echoed in his head endlessly.
He avoided eye contact with you, knowing very well he'd be lost the moment he looked at your sparkling eyes and your glossy lips that looked so delectably addictive that it made him weak in the knees. Eddie was unusually quiet at DnD night
The party all shot each other looks as they played, watching Eddie closely as he seemed to be distracted with his own thoughts.
At one point, Dustin leaned over to Lucas and whispered, "What’s with him?"
"I don't know dude."
Mike looked back at Eddie. "Earth to Eddie." He called out. "You paying attention there?"
Eddie snapped out whatever trance he was in. "Uh, yeah, yeah."
The boys exchanged another look, all of them knowing it was a lie.
"Dude, you've been off the entire week. You sure you're good?" Mike asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
"I'm fine, are you fine? You don't look fine? Does he look fine to everyone?" Eddie went of a word splurge.
The other boys all mumbled, "uhh... yeah...he's fine."
"Dude, we're not the ones that have been zoned out the entire week." Dustin said as he folded his arms.
Eddie frowned. "Right, sorry, back to the game..." he mumbled. "Where were we? Oh, so then the Paladin class gets attacked." He picked up the di, and threw them against the table.
The next day, Eddie came into school looking as though he'd been dragged through a bush of thorns. His hair was a mess, he had bags under his eyes, and just looked incredibly exhausted.
He went through his classes in a daze, barely paying attention to anything that was said the whole time.
It wasn't until the bell rang signalling lunch that he snapped out of it for the first time that day. He sat at the table, picking at the folds of the cardboard juice box
He poked at his food with the plastic fork in his hand, his mind wandering all over the place.
He was snapped out of it when Mike's voice called out to him, "Eddie...dude... you look like crap."
"Well, gee thanks, Wheeler."
Mike huffed, raising his eyebrows, "Well, have you slept at all this week? Like at all?"
Eddie was going to say something, when the sounds of all too expensive high heels clacked towards them. Eddie's eyes widened as his breath hitched, knowing exactly who those hitched, knowing exactly who those expensive high heels belonged to.
Just like everyone else at the table, he looked up as you approached the table, all eyes falling on you.
The corners of your mouth lifted, but the smile was bitter, your eyes raked over everyone, biting your tongue to stop yourself from saying something about the way they stared and glared. "Hey, Eds."
'Eds?' the boys internally screamed
Eddie took a sharp breath, his hands clenched at his sides tightly as you spoke, using that stupid nickname that you always used.
He tried to speak through his dry throat. "H-hey.....what's up?"
"Oh, I was just wondering if you accepted my invite?" You asked, dustin shot Eddie a deranged look of confusion. Why hadn't Eddie told them?
Eddie's mind was running a thousand miles a minute as you spoke, his heart feeling like it was going explode in his chest.
He could feel the table of boys looking at him, all of them curious why he'd never mentioned anything about your hangout.
He cleared his throat, "Uh... that...yeah... about that—."
He was cut off when Dustin spoke up,
"What're you talking about?"
Great, just what he needed. Eddie shot Dustin a look, silently screaming at him to shut up.
"Did Eddie not tell you?" You asked with a tilt of your chin. "Well since you're all friends I thought he would."
Eddie's eye twitched, his hand gripping the table as hard as it could.
"Oh yeah...l forgot..." he said through clenched teeth.
"So do you want to go?"
Eddie wanted to say no. He really did.
He didn't want to fall for you. He didn't want to get dragged into whatever games you had up your sleeve.
But something inside him said yes.
Something that whispered to him that maybe you were being more sincere than everyone gave you credit for.
With all eyes burning into him, he finally answered, "Sure...I'll go with you."
Your smile broadened, it was one of those post cover girl smiles that you'd see models give to a camera, hard to tell if it's artificial or not. "Mkay, great. I'll meet you there at seven tomorrow, do you want my number to keep in touch?"
The sight of your smile alone made his stomach turn upside down, his heart thudding against his ears.
"Yeah...yeah, sure..." He was able to say, trying desperately to keep himself from sounding like and idiot and failing miserably.
He could feel the group of boys practically burn holes into the back of his head as they continued to stare, but that was the least of his worries right now.
You looked up. "Does anyone here have a marker?"
Mike, who was sitting just closest to you, reached into his backpack and pulled out a black sharpie, reaching it out to you, "Here."
"Thanks," When your nails scraped against his fingers as you took the marker, Mike could've sworn you had talons, long, thick talons you probably used to shred apart your victims. "Arm." You instructed, pointing to Eddie's arm.
Eddie was reluctant at first, but he slowly pulled up his sleeve, holding out his arm for you.
He tried to ignore the group of boys' stares and questioning glances that were thrown his way.
You uncapped the marker before writing for your number across his pale, freckled skin, even adding a big heart next to the last digit.
Eddie could do nothing but sit there, letting you write your number on his arm, trying to pay as little mind as possible to the boys behind him that were no doubt watching you like hawks.
When you finished, Eddie quickly pulled his sleeve back down and shoved his arm back under the table.
"I'll see you there, later boys!" You gave them all one last look before spinning around and leaving.
Eddie watched you leave, his eyes lingering on you until you disappeared from his sight.
Once you were gone, he whipped around and let out an irritated sigh before glancing at the gawking faces of the boys.
"What the actual heck!?" Dustin exclaimed
Eddie looked from Dustin's confused face to the rest of the boys'.
They all looked beyond clueless and utterly dumbfounded.
"Look, it's not what you think—." he started, holding his hands up in defense.
"Yeah? Then what is it?" Gareth snapped.
Eddie rubbed his face, his brain feeling like it was going to explode. "I don't know...I don't know...one minute she's asking me to hangout and the next she's writing her number on my arm!"
Eddie took a deep breath to try and calm himself down, his leg bouncing up and down under the table.
"Don't tell me you like her." Dustin groaned.
Eddie's heart stopped in his chest for split second. "What?! No! Hell no! Where on earth would you ever get that idea?!" He exclaimed, waving his hands around dramatically.
He didn't like you, he didn't like you, he didn't like you. He repeated it over and over again in his head like a mantra.
Mike raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? If you don't like her then rub off her number."
Eddie's heart thumped in his chest once more, racing like a thousand horses stampeding against his ears.
He had to bite back the urge to cry 'no!' over and over again, trying desperately over and over again, trying desperately to come up with some excuse in his mind.
He looked at his arm and the numbers that sat so perfectly on his skin, his eyes burning at the idea of erasing it, the idea of losing that link to you.
"Go on..."
His heart was going going a million miles a minute, racing like never before.
He knew he had to do it. There was no way he'd be able to explain to any of the boys how you'd made him melt from just a single smile and a touch.
He let out a shaky sigh, before using his sleeve to wipe the numbers from his skin, his heart aching as he did so.
The numbers began to blend into each other, Mike even went as far as grabbing the small sanitiser bottle his mom made him keep, and squirted some on Eddie's arm.
Eddie kept his eyes on his now clean arm, the numbers now gone, completely gone.
It didn't make him feel better. It didn't take away the aching throb in his chest at the idea of you.
"Good, glad to see you've gone back to your senses." Dustin clapped Eddie on the back.
Eddie's face contorted uncomfortably, his heart twisting as Dustin patted him on the back, nodding in approval.
He let out another sigh but said nothing, keeping his eyes on his blank arm.
Eddie looked to the side, where he saw you, talking to Barb. Eddie grimaced slightly at the sight, knowing full well that you only used her to your advantage.
He could make out the faint sound of your laughter floating toward him, that annoying, stupid sound that made his heart backflip in his chest every single time.
The weekend rolled by, and Eddie had to distract himself from knowing that it was close to seven, the time you had wanted to meet. He didn't know the restaurant's name, he didn't know where it was to begin with. He'd asked Wayne about it and Wayne said he didn't know of a new Italian restaurant that popped up.
Ultimately, he decided to ditch you.
Eddie sat on the couch in the trailer, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. Wayne had gone on a night shift, leaving Eddie by himself in the house. For once he actually wished Wayne was home, just so someone would keep him company. He checked the time, five minutes to seven. You'd be there soon.
Eddie let out a sigh as he checked the time on his watch once more. It was five minutes past seven.
He couldn't understand why he could still feel the aching throb in his chest as the minutes ticked past.
Part of him couldn't help it by wondering if you were pissed at him for what he'd done, but he also couldn't deny the other part that was silently hoping you would be pissed. At least that'd show you actually cared.
Eddie groaned, digging a hand into his pocket before pulling out a blunt, he thought that by smoking it, it would dissolve all his worries, and all thoughts of you.
Eddie lit the blunt, holding it up to his lips and taking a deep drag.
He blew out a cloud of smoke, hoping that it would help calm his racing mind and quell the painful throb in his chest.
But it didn't.
If anything, it made everything worse.
The high seemed to make him more hyper aware of everything his surroundings, the silence of the home, the pain in his chest.
His heart rate was up, his leg was bouncing up and down, and no matter how hard he tried to shut you out of his mind, you were still there, constantly reminding him of that aching in his chest.
He took another drag of the blunt, holding onto it for a few seconds before letting out a harsh breath, blowing out another cloud of grey smoke.
Eddie felt on end on Monday, if you found him you'd probably be mad, he'd be killed on spot. Eddie actually had yet to see you in the halls, or in class, but you hadn't come. In done way, he was thankful.
Eddie had tried to stay as low key as possible through the day. He sat through his classes, his leg bouncing as usual and his mind elsewhere.
He'd constantly looked ahead himself, bracing for the possibility that you would pop out right in front of him, but you never did.
He'd even scanned the cafeteria during lunch, praying you wouldn't pop up out of nowhere and confront him. But once again, you never did.
He didn't know whether to be thankful that you hadn't appeared, or upset. It was killing him not knowing where you were or what you were thinking.
But, the last thing he wanted to seem was obsessed with you and your whereabouts, so he played it safe and didn't ask anyone about you.
And it turned out, you'd be absent the whole week.
During the week, Eddie found it impossible to focus on anything. The lack of you anywhere in the school was a constant distraction.
He found himself listening out for your voice, or your laughter, any little sign that you were there.
He'd even looked out for you in the parking lot, hoping beyond hope that the BMW would pull in. But it never did.
So Eddie was back at Family Video after school on Friday, Eddie had actually attended every class and stayed the whole school day in hopes of seeing you.
Eddie had practically dragged himself into Family Video, slumping himself against one of the display cases.
He felt tired, both physically and mentally.
He rubbed his face in exhaustion, his mind racing as he tried to think about where you were and why he hadn't seen you all week.
"You look like you've had a rough week."
Suddenly Steve's voice echoed out through the store, drawing Eddie's attention. Steve stood by the counter, a smirk on his face as he looked Eddie up and down.
"You could say." Eddie sighed.
Steve leaned against the counter, folding his arms and letting out hum.
"You're usually in a good mood by Friday. But you look worse than Dustin when he's lost his D&D book."
Eddie snorted.
Steve chuckled, raising an eyebrow as his eyes darted along Eddie's face.
"Let me guess, this has to do with a girl." Steve stated.
"It's just, everyone, and I mean everyone says she's awful, yet the few times we've talked she's been fine. Then last week she wrote her number on my arm, but I got held at gunpoint to get rid of it, I flunked our...hangout—which I said yes to, sorry. Thought she's yell at me on Monday, only for her to be absent this entire week."
Steve let out a small whistle, his eyes widening at Eddie's words.
"Yeah...that's not good, man." He said, letting out a sigh, "but, what do you mean you got held at gun point to erase her number?"
"The whole group said if I didn't have feelings for her, l'd have to erase her number off my arm. Ugh, I'm so stupid."
Steve rolled his eyes, shaking his head disapprovingly. "Oh come on, the group was clearly being over dramatic. You could've ignored them."
He folded his arms once more, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Eddie.
"It was either that, or they never talk to me again over some stupid, dumb, mean, terrible... pretty, girl."
Steve chuckled once again.
"You think she's pretty?" He shot at Eddie, a sly smirk on his face.
Eddie sighed, dreamily. "Yeah, man. She has such soft looking hair, and pretty eyes, and her smiled, dude, let me tell you."
Steve made a face that looked like a mixture of amused and bewildered.
"Damn man, you've got it bad. " he said, leaning even more on the counter.
"I know." Eddie mumbled, solemnly.
Steve sighed, pity in his eyes as he watched his friend wallow in his own misery.
"Look man, you like her, a lot. But the rest of your friends hate her guts, it's not going to end well." Steve said with a shrug, "how do you even know if she actually likes you?" "I..." the words died on his tongue. 'Don't' he wanted to say.
Steve seemed to notice the change in Eddie's demeanor, taking a more softer approach. "You don't know whether she likes you or not, do you?"
Eddie looked over at Steve, with sad eyes.
It was then that his heart dropped to the depths of hell when he heard a laugh.
Your laugh.
Eddie stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes widening at the sound of your laughter.
The sound of you brought a flurry of mixed emotions, ranging from worry to excitement. His heart was back to its usual race from that familiar thump, thump, thump and his palms became sweaty.
Eddie whipped his head and peered round the corner where you stood with your friends, laughing at the funny covers of some of the films. Eddie swallowed thickly at the sight of you. You looked, well, you looked amazing, as usual.
He scanned your face, his eyes roaming over every feature of your face, his heart aching when your mouth curled up into that familiar smile.
He watched as you picked up a copy of The Thing, examining the cover and giggling with your friends.
All he wanted to do was go over there and talk to you, to be next to you, but he stayed rooted to the spot, watching you with a mixture of dread and relief.
"I'm going to go find a worker, I'll be back." You said to your friends, before turning around in search of a staff member.
Eddie felt his heart thump in his chest as your friends nodded and said their goodbyes to you. He watched you turn towards the counter, praying to all the gods, new and old, that you somehow missed seeing him.
Steve had to go attend to your needs, being one of the few staff on the clock.
Eddie let out an internal sigh of relief as Steve stepped out from behind the counter and went to serve you, which left him out of sight of you for the time being.
He slumped against the display once more, his eyes on you and Steve talking.
"Do you have a copy of Heathers?" You asked, nails drumming against the counter. Steve's eyes widened at your choice of movie, before he quickly covered it up with a smile.
He glanced over his shoulder for a split second, making eye contact with Eddie, before refocusing on you. "Yeah, we do have a copy, I'll go find it for you." He said, walking past you and heading into the back.
You nodded as you waited for him to get it.
Once Steve was out of sight, Eddie's eyes were immediately drawn to you once more, watching you quietly.
He let he eyes roam over the familiar features of your face, the features that he'd been thinking about for the past week. He was trying desperately not to notice the pang in his heart as he looked at you.
Before he knew what was happening, Steve was back, a copy of the film in his hand. He placed it on the counter next to you, ringing it up with a smile.
"Oh, and one more thing, tell Eddie I say hi, I know he's hiding behind that shelf." You told Steve before grabbing the bag and leaving.
Eddie froze. How did you know he was there?
When he was sure you were gone, he peered out from behind the shelf, an utterly bewildered look on his face. Steve was standing at the counter, trying desperately not to laugh at Eddie's dumbstruck expression. "She said hi, by the way." He said with an amused smile on his face.
"How did she know I was here!?" Eddie exclaimed, standing up from his hiding place and approaching the desk.
"Well it's not every day you see some guy dressed in leather and denim hiding in the soap opera section."
Eddie made a face at that, but chose not to comment.
Instead, he slammed his hands down on the counter, leaning forwards and looking at Steve.
"Did she look angry?" Steve shook his head. "She wasn't pissed?" Eddie asked, his heartbeat picking up once again. It was a good thing, right? You weren't mad, so that had to mean you were fine with what he'd done.
"There was no look of death in those pretty little eyes of hers." Steve replied, a smirk on his face.
Eddie gave him a look at his choice of words.
"What?" Steve said, his smirk only widening. "I'm just stating the facts."
He let out a small chuckle at Eddie's expression, a slightly amused look in his eyes.
Eddie grumbled a goodbye before leaving
"Bye!" Steve called out as Eddie turned and left the store.
Steve let out a small chuckle as he watched him go.
"Oh yeah, he's definitely got it bad."
Eddie was back at home, the air on had bust, and Eddie was dying. He'd long taken off his shirt and changed into black pair of shorts as he lounged around
The fan was on, but it was doing nothing to cool him down. He'd stripped down to just a pair of black shorts, his bandana in its usual spot on his forehead.
He slumped down onto the sofa, his chest and face glistening with sweat as he tried in vain to keep cool.
knock knock knock.
Eddie groaned as the sound echoed out through the home.
He knew he should have ignored it, hoping whoever it was would just go away. But he couldn't, he found himself stumbling off the sofa and walking to the door, opening it.
And there you were.
Standing there, a small, hesitant smile on your face, with your arms folded.
Eddie froze, eyes widening at the sight of you.
Surely this was just a hallucinations from the heat. A trick of the mind, or a fantasy come to life.
It was only when you spoke that he realised this was, in fact, real, and you were actually here, at his front door.
"Can I come in?" You asked, looking up at him through your lashes.
Eddie realised he'd been stood in stunned silence for probably way too long. He quickly shook himself from his daze, and realised he hadn't answered your question. Quickly, he nodded.
"Yeah...yeah, of course, come in." He said, standing aside and letting you inside.
Eddie began to feel conscious of the fact you had now seen him shirtless, you had indeed seen his few tattoos he'd gotten.
He didn't mind anyone seeing, in fact he wanted people to know about his sick tattoos, but there was something about you.
You sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't show up on Saturday."
Ok good, he thought, you wouldn't have known he also didn't show up.
Eddie shrugged gently, sitting down on the couch and watching as you sat on the armchair opposite him.
"It's all good."
It was silent for a few moments.
Eddie was silently thanking the gods you'd shown up in a simple vest, and jean shorts. The look was innocent, but for some reason, it was making the breath get caught in his throat.
You chewed on your bottom lip. "You're not mad?"
Eddie quickly shook his head. "Of course not."
He wasn't mad. In fact, he was overjoyed that you'd came here of your own free will, that you actually wanted to seek him out.
He took in a deep breath, trying desperately not to let his eyes linger on the way your vest hugged your body.
You nodded. "Okay, okay good. It's just, something came up and that's why l've been absent, I don't think you would've noticed."
Eddie had to resist the urge to laugh.
He'd noticed your absence painfully well, it had been all he had thought about all week.
He tried to keep his cool though, not wanting to come on too strong.
"What happened?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at you.
You looked down at your lap. "Can I trust you?"
That question caught Eddie off guard.
He leaned forward a little, studying your face, the way your face was contorted into one of slight worry.
"Yeah, you can trust me." He said, nodding once.
"You sure? You won't go around and tell everyone?" You asked, before taking in a breath. "I know how I act so you could use this as dirt on me."
Eddie had to once again stop himself from laughing at your words. No, he wouldn't use this as 'dirt' on you.
Why would he do that? He wasn't going to run off with the news the moment you told him what was going on.
He shook his head once more. "I won't tell a soul."
You nodded. "My parents are...they're no longer staying together," You head dropped. "It's just been hard at home."
Hearing that information shocked Eddie.
Your parents, the parents who always seemed so put together, and happy.
They weren't together anymore?
"Jesus..." He mumbled, running a hand through his sweaty hair.
"I mean, it's no excuse to be a shitty person, I guess l've been deflecting on others," You sighed. "Um, I should go."
At that, Eddie spoke up.
"Wait!" He exclaimed, stopping you as you moved to get up.
You froze, and slowly turned to look at him. Eddie swallowed thickly, his heart beating quickly in his chest.
"You don't have to leave just yet." He said, trying to keep a sense of control in his voice. He took a shaky breath."I mean, it's a hell of a lot hotter outside. You'll fry in that summer sun."
You let out an amused huff of air at his words. "I suppose you're right."
Eddie tried to ignore the way your voice sent a shiver down his spine.
"Stay a while." He said, attempting to maintain the cool, casual demeanour. "It's lonely here by myself."
"I bet." You grinned as you walked over to him before sitting down besides him.
Suddenly the air felt hotter for Eddie.
Your proximity was doing a number on him.
He could almost feel the warmth of your skin against his own, and suddenly the heat was back with double the force.
He was trying desperately to keep his eyes on your face, and not roam over the skin of your legs which were left on show with those shorts.
"U-Uh, you want one?" Eddie stammered before he picked up a cooler, showing you a range of popsicles.
He mentally cursed his own voice for how it caught in his throat.
He hoped to the gods you didn't notice the way his voice had wavered.
"Sure, why not?"
You picked up a red one, cherry flavoured, before pushing the treat out the packaging and wrapping your lips around it. You let out a small groan as the flavour seeped into your mouth and the colour stained your lips.
And there went any hope of Eddie remaining even remotely cool, or casual.
Your eyes flickered over to his, and he swore he could cum on spot. Your lips popped off the popsicle as you tilted it in his direction. "You want a taste?"
Heat immediately rushed to Eddie's cheeks as your words sent a jolt straight to his core.
He swallowed thickly, his eyes roaming over your face and landing on your lips, cherry stained and covered in the red liquid.
"U-Uh...sure." He said, clearing his throat.
"Open up." He hated how quickly he obeyed your command. Without another word, he parted his lips for you. Waiting.
You brought the cold treat to his lips, watching as they closed around the part you had previously sucked on.
Eddie tried desperately to focus on anything but the sight of your lips on that popsicle, the image burned into the back of his mind for later.
He felt the coldness of the flavour against his tongue, and he let out a soft moan around the popsicle.
"Do you like it?" You asked softly. Eddie didn't want to tell you he'd had this flavour a dozen times, yet none tasted as sweet as this one.
In fact, he was going to buy a whole box just so he could remember this taste.
He nodded, the popsicle still in his mouth, before pulling it from his lips.
"Yeah... do." He said in a low voice, his eyes still trained on your cherry stained lips.
Your eyes watched as a small, red dropped dribbled down the corner of his lip. "Can I clean that up?"
A shiver ran down his spine at that, and he couldn't stop the way that heat once again pooled in his stomach. He let out a shaky breath before slowly nodding his head, his eyes still locked with yours.
What he didn't expect was for you to crane your neck, and to feel your tongue brush his bottom lip, before your lips cushioned around it as you gently sucked the juice off.
He swore time stopped entirely, and all he could focus on was the feeling of your tongue on his lip, cleaning up the sticky liquid left behind by the popsicle.
The heat flared, and he couldn't control the low, guttural moan that escaped his lips.
"Well, fuck me." He mumbled to himself, as he watched you innocently go back to enjoying your popsicle. He had to throw a pillow over his lap, and ignore the feeling of him aching between the legs
Eddie was thankful for the fact you'd gone back to eating that popsicle like nothing had happened, as if you hadn't just made him let out that pitiful moan.
He shuffled in his seat, attempting to create some pressure for himself as he gritted his teeth together.
#gabgabwrites#my works ✎#x reader#eddie munson smut#eddie munson stranger things#stranger things eddie#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson
304 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mars/mars pc astro observations bc yes
jjk
*birth chart + tropical
I’ve noticed you can spend more time with people who have the same sign mars as you or you can feel more comfortable, daah.
mars trine saturn are so fucking loyal to what they’re archiving, they take their time, they could be fucked up on following other things but when they have something in mind, they’ll do it.
scorpio mars could be synonym of transformation, sadly this people could have had a special person in their life who was going through a rough time and they were by their side, scorpio mars not knowing what to do with all that amount of energy, feeling guilty and desperate. they could have been used to an anxious environment.
aquarius mars stop being so concerned and furious when you don’t understand others behavior, not everything is logic. I get it, you’re aware of how people act and how things work but that doesn’t mean you have to act like that to feel accepted -don’t take this seriously-. also, you look cute when you’re feeling yourself💋🎀
6H mars ik it’s daily for you, being mad and everyone noticing but you, or you’re not mad and everyone thinks you are? don’t get mad if I don’t left something you let me in the same way you gave it to me!! -exaggeratedly-. Don’t get mad if we’re not as organized as you!! don’t put your energy on those things, being mad on little details
mars at 5°, 17° or 29° (leo degree) STOP WITH THE PRIDEFUL ATTITUDE, you can’t even apologize wisely
mars at 9° or 21° (sagittarius degree) YOU CAN’T TAKE THINGS SERIOUSLY when they’re confronting your unserious attitude or EVER. you look like a little kid trying to scape, STOP. “You thought..”, then look at the consequences. too chill for my patience. -thinking of someone while typing-
3H mars why do they have to have the same taste in music as you so you’ll immediately find them attractive? or them having the same interests as you -same favorite movie, series, etc-. also they could be dorks 🤓☝️
mars opposition jupiter makes people who have this aspect feeling they’re stuck on their process of their goal/dream, they could feel they’re constantly in the process and not identifying their progress or the positive aspects. they could feel really insecure/have a low self stem, comparing themselves with others. they could be seem as too idealistic.
when you’re mad with libra mars they can have a “I did nothing incorrect/wrong” attitude, they could even ask “when did I did that? Prove it”, like you remember every detail like them 😒
8H mars are MOODY, they have to do what they want and often base their decisions on how they feel. they don’t force things, they do how they feel. when they were children, they could have been seen as aggressive or unstoppable? unpredictable
sun square mars screams issues with your dad or the opinion of your dad and how he does things has/have had a lot of impact on your life and identity, way of proceeding. impulsive and gets excited like a kid when you give them a candy, oh but when you take it away…RUN.
as a mars at 10° or 22° (capricorn degree), yes I feel the need to be in charge -boss around-, I’m learning to not want/understand I don’t have to be in control every fucking time 😏 In every aspect. 
I’m still thinking virgo mars is the most resentful of all of them. they’ll do ANYTHING to protect their loved ones, they do everything they can to try to understand them, they’re so DEDICATED. it’s an honor to be one of their few special persons.
mars at 3°, 15° or 27° (gemini degree) LOVES, NEEDS to receive affirmations about how good they’re, in bed. a “I love your ass” will be a motivation to do more things…again, if it’s not in bed, they need to know how they’re doing things, they need communication to feel secure or that they’re doing it good.
mars persona chart*
gemini 5H in mars persona chart indicates is fucking hilarious/fun for you to tease people. how, when and what you talk, you do it on purpose, to see how far someone patience can last or to analyze their reactions. in every aspect. you can have a way with words that helps you to initiate things easily in bed.
cancer 6H in mars pc can mean you have to feel you like the sport you’re about to do to actually have motivation and be constant with it. for example, I started going to gym bc a friend was practically asking every day if I could be her gym partner, I didn’t want to and when I finally went was bc principally she was gonna be there, I emphasize with her and had to do something for my mental health -everyone was mentioning I had to-, not bc I like to do sport? Or going to the gym? I like how I’m feeling?😭 idk how to explain it.
aries venus in mars pc yes we know people who are horny makes you horny. you love how focused are on their life and how much they think on what they can do next, that they’re not wasting their time. it makes you wet 😝 that they get mad over little things and that they’re direct and a little idiots to process things.
taurus mercury in mars pc are so possessive, they want to know if you’re about to come and to affirm it, to tell them they made you feel so good to then choke you. they want proves on how good they’re doing it and how they can be better.
cancer mars in mars pc can be turned on whatever has to do with a mother figure 😭 or what’s seen as feminine? But more on a mother way. for example, if someone is taking care of them unconditionally and has this cancer aspect -big boobs, round face, innocent eyes- they’ll imagine being taken care in another way later
mars-uranus aspects in mars pc is attracted/turned on to people who are rejected by society, someone who is seemed as rebel or does change. not necessarily they have to be part of a social movement but since little details. for example, what’s rejected by conservative people, piercings 😝 an unique way of standing for themselves, etc.
neptune 1H in mars pc: you feel yourself with the unexpected. you even get horny?😭 your personality could be even unexpected.
♡ Based on personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.
♡ English is not my first language.
♡ I’m not a profesional astrologer.
Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋
Do not copy. Please give me credits
#persona chart observations#persona#astrology#astrology degrees#birth chart#mars observations#mars persona chart#mars#pinterest#astro posts#astro placements#astro notes#jjk#persona chart
756 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why Blitzø Likes Stolas
I've made jokes about Blitzø liking Stolas bcuz his type is tall, rich, powerful demons with musical talent, and that's probably kinda true, but I wanna talk about the real reasons Blitzø likes Stolas. Tldr at the end.
I think one of the major reasons Blitzø likes Stolas is how kind, sincere, and affectionate he is. Stolas is always making sure he is okay and is very passionate about litterally everything he does (dramatic little bitch, lol). And while he's ignorant ("my impish little plaything"???), he does mean well. Taking Octavia to Looloo Land to make her feel better, Going full demon mode to save IMP, his attentiveness to Blitzø during his mental breakdown in Seeing Stars, him absolutely adoring Octavia, him helping Ozzie when he gained no real benefit, etc, etc.
Also, expanding more on the affectionate part, Blitzø is shown to not get much affection or love in his life at all. His family situation was a giant mess (his dad literally sold him for 5 bucks and a condom Jesus Christ-), and Stolas is a very loving and affectionate person. Obviously, this is shown with Blitzø, but also with Octavia ('my precious little starfire', always staying patient with Via, even if he can be a bit dismissive, going full demon mode when Blitzø said he lost Via), and even his plants (he raised the flesh-eating plant since he was a kid, he pets the plant, on his insta he called a puprle rose "a handsome little rose"). And yeah, he's going to be affectione with Via, that's his daughter, but in Hell, (or maybe just from Blitzø's perspective, it'a hard to tell honestly) that's shown to be a rarity. So obviously, he's going to admire that about him.
And also, compare that to Blitzø's life. His dad saw him as less than, something happened that made his sister hate him, his mom seemed to be a good parent, but she's dead, his best friend and former crush hated his guts for 15 years, his daughter does care about him but she also mostly just shows anger and annoyance with him, and even Moxxie, who'd I'd argue is his best friend, gets annoyed with him constantly (I would too tbh but this isn't about that). Stolas just being his loving and affectionate self and being so happy to see him and always being so sweet to Blitzø is like a breath of fresh air to him.
Another thing is that Stolas shows clear interest in the things he likes. Take horses as example, bcuz we all know Blitzø is obsessed with them. Most of the time, his friends are pretty passive about it, but Stolas actually indulges him. Some of this is from their instas, but Stolas got him a horse Hoodie, he draws horses with him, and Stolas even got inspired to draw because of Blitzø.
(Also, plz note that in another post he commented that it smells like Stolas, and I want everyone to appreciate how happy he looks in this photo while smelling it again)
Blitzø probably admires Stolas's theatrics as well because despite growing up in a Circus where you were supposed to be dramatic and showy, he was still always taught to ignore or hide his true emotions (Cash ignoring that he didn't want to go to the Goetia Palace because "MONEY"). And while Stolas was raised the same way, he still wears his heart and emotions on his sleeve and is always showing them, whether it be positive or negative
And we all know thst Blitzø has major self hatred issues, but Stolas was genuinely interested in Blitzø as a person. Laughing at his jokes, asking how his day went, and with all of this, you can't help but wonder if Blitzø was figuring out that he did too. I think that's why he was so heartbroken about Ozzie's. Because to him, Stolas hiding his face was just proof that Stolas didn't care. That he was just a little plaything. But, Blitzø liked that Stolas liked him for who he was, and that he didn't have to pretend to be someone different.
Yes, ik Blitzø wasn't here for some of them, and he thinks that Stolas is just faking all of this. BUT, Blitzø can notice things subconsciously, and the stuff that Blitzø wasn't there for was to talk about Stolas's character as well. That's why I wanted to talk about this, to talk about what Blitzø sees in Stolas and his character.
Feel free to add anything if you want! I'd love to hear your guy's opinions, takes, and thoughts on the ship. I'm probably gonna a make a post on why Stolas likes Blitzø at some point, lol
Tldr; Blitzø likes Stolas because he's kind, sincere, loving, affectionate, passionate, caring, dramatic, and likes Blitzø for who he is.
#stolitz#blitzo#blitz#helluva boss blitz#helluva boss blitzo#helluva boss blitzø#blitz helluva boss#blitzo helluva boss#blitzø#blitzø helluva boss#stolas goetia#helluva boss stolas#stolas helluva boss#helluva boss#helluva boss analysis#anaylsis#media analysis#helluva boss notes
417 notes
·
View notes
Note
was struck suddenly by this thought
okay biker!simon but he's got his shit together and he's hubby and you have a kid (2yo?) with him
in India, bikes are the primary mode of transport everyone has one and lots of the kids love love going on rides. my 2nd cousin (?) (relations are diff there) he's 2 years old and he's the cutest thing in the world and he will not sleep at night until his dad takes him out for a spin on the bike. he comes back all smiley and sleepy it's so fucking cute omfg
IMAGINE THAT WITH SIMON
( bikes aren't seen as dangerous in India bc literally every household has one and people will carry their babies on the bike. ik it's different elsewhere but I just cannot stop thinking ab simon going for a spin with his baby :((( )
love you, drink water sunny 👊
ur cousin not sleeping till he gets a ride is so cute omg :((( such a cutie pie 🥺
but no absolutely!! i feel like biker!simon would spoil his kids sm that they get demanding when he doesn’t get to take them out on a ride
thinking about your little two year old girl waiting patiently in the living room while her dad washes up (simon closed the shop today), with her little helmet already strapped in. the tv is on for reruns of cartoons but she’s distracted, squirming at every drop of sound, thinking it’s simon finally out of the shower.
you chuckle as you rub her back, trying to make her calm down, but you guess her exhaustion and excitement are finally mixing, making one whiny baby. you pitch forward to press a kiss on her little fist.
that, at least, makes her look at you.
“excited, little pea?” you ask, brushing your thumb on the apple of her cheek.
“mhmm!” she says before turning back to her cartoons.
what a blessing she is.
simon pops out of the corner just then, crooning, “ready to go, peanut?”
your daughter squeals, scrambling to get off the couch to run towards simon. simon laughs, crouching down and opening his arms to embrace her, but she’s barrelling into him too fast, unable to stop, and it knocks her helmet against his chin.
“jesus–”
“daddy, go!” is all what your daughter says, so impatient and spoiled, and simon just coos again, finding no fault in her little demands.
“of course, of course.” he stands up. “let’s say bye to mommy?”
you stand then too, moving close to them carefully. your beloved angel turns at hearing simon’s words, her pudgy cheeks now rounder with her smile. “buh-bye!”
“bye bye, darlin’,” you reply, kissing her little fist again. “have fun with daddy, yeah? tell him to ride carefully because he’s got my whole world with him.” this you say to simon, playful and teasing.
simon scrunches his nose in reply—fatherhood looks so beautiful in him.
“don’t worry, love. y’know i’ll do everything to keep her safe,” he murmurs, pressing close to breathe you in. “we’ll be home in twenty. see you then.”
you kiss his jaw. “see you then, baby.”
your little angel waves her goodbyes again before they disappear to the garage, simon’s quiet murmurs filling up the space while your daughter hums in replies, still not yet ready for much words.
simon hefts himself up and places her in front of him, making sure that her helmet is secured and her jacket’s all zipped up. it is a quiet routine, one that simon completes with ferocious intensity. he’s never once skipped out on this, never once had been lazy with it, and it makes your heart warm.
he looks up after his final check, turning to you with one last wave, before he’s snapping his visor down and revving the engine. then they’re off.
later, simon will come back with a slumbering princess in his arms. you two make a quiet work on removing her helmet and her shoes, before simon takes her to sleep. then, he’ll slide in beside you, pull you in for cuddles, before recounting their little adventure to you.
-
IM SORRY THIS BECAME A RAMBLE AND ITS NOT EVEN ABOUT THE BIKE RIDE BUT ITS JUST :((( dad simon is so so precious
love you too vi and yes im gulping down rn as i type!!
402 notes
·
View notes
Text
leveling the playing field X
summary: with nowhere else to go after getting caught cheating to help lucy gray, you both make some desperately stupid decisions.
pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader
wc: 3.1k
tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do, kind of). implications and mentions of abuse, so read with caution!! also a little bit of swearing but that's neither here nor there
masterlists // nav // requests
a/n: hi all!! i have some slightly annoying news (I'm so sorry) but i think i have to close my taglist for this fic and for other coryo stuff (which i am working on bc I've seen the requests!!) bc its gone up almost 150 people and i can only tag 50 people per post and it is SO much work to tag everyone individually even after i paste them in and i don't want to have to reblog it 2 or 3 times to tag everyone :(. I'm so sorry like i said ik its annoying but if you'd like to be the first to know ab new parts and you're not already in my taglist, feel free to turn on my post notifs!! that way you'll also see everything else including my asks ab the fic where i answer more questions and we talk theories and all that fun stuff :)
next part
Coriolanus was having a hard time adjusting to the life of a peacekeeper, but he was getting there. He sent off that letter for you almost as soon as he arrived, but was yet to receive a response so that seemed like an answer enough. He had to forget you, especially if he wasn't going back to the Capitol anytime soon.
He was homesick, to say the very least. Both of his bunkmates were out, likely working, but he didn't care much to know exactly where. He was just relieved to have a moment to himself to wallow in his self-pity, chest constricting tighter and tighter with every breath.
A door slammed shut down the hall, followed quickly by his own door opening- at which he held his breath. He had to get it together.
"Is this bunk taken?" Someone asks, a voice not belonging to either of his bunkmates, but he recognizes it nonetheless.
He shot up straight, taking in the appearance of the boy in front of him. "Sejanus!" He had never been happier to see his classmate, hopping out of his top bunk to quickly give him a hug.
"This is a surprisingly warm welcome for someone who almost got you killed." Sejanus chuckled, hugging him back.
Coryo laughs slightly, pulling away and grabbing his shoulders. "Oh, no. Quite the opposite. What are you doing here?"
"About the same as you." He shrugs, sliding his things under the bed below Coryo's. "They were going to expel me, but my dad paid them for my grad certificate and let them send me here. They got a new gym on the condition that they let us both graduate."
Coryo should be relieved, but a graduation certificate doesn't matter much if he's stuck here for the next twenty years. "And Y/N/N?" He asks.
"Y/N?" Sejanus asks, lifting his head back in confusion. "What about her?"
"Did she graduate too?"
"I... I don't know, I didn't know she was in trouble. We were told she was sick."
Coriolanus's stomach drops. That's a story he'd certainly heard before, and he didn't like at all how that ended. He swallows, nodding a little bit as he looks at the floor. "So you didn't see her at all?"
"No... Not since the last time I saw you." Sejanus states. It had been a few weeks now. "But, her mother came to our door a week or so ago, real early in the morning. Ma shooed me away but I heard them talking, it seemed like she didn't know where Y/N was either. She was looking for her, wondering if any of us had seen her."
Again, this is what Coryo had seen before with what happened to Clemensia. Her parents weren't allowed to see her at all while she was in the hospital. "I think she's dead." He admits.
"What? What makes you say that?" His friend gasps.
"I... I heard her screaming when I left our meeting with Highbottom." Coriolanus explains. "At first it was normal Y/N screaming, you know, but then it got worse and worse until it just... stopped." He hoped Sejanus would change his story, that he would remember seeing you at school or on the streets or at one of your parent's obnoxious parties, having a good time, and being yourself. That maybe he had just forgotten, but the look on Sejanus's face tells him that didn't happen.
It was Sejanus's turn to look down now, giving a solemn nod. "I mean, no." He laughs suddenly, shaking his head. "They wouldn't kill her on campus- if you could hear it, she's not dead. They wouldn't kill her just like that, right?" He says, trying to convince himself of that truth. "Surely she's just sick. Maybe grounded, or something."
"Yeah, yeah. Probably..." Coriolanus concedes, hoping that somehow Sejanus was right.
Simultaneously, you were adjusting beautifully to life in District Twelve. You got in the habit of borrowing Lucy Gray and Barb Azure's clothes, and they let you sleep on the floor between their beds. For the first time in your life, you were free. No one knew you, no one had a single expectation of you besides Tam Amber appreciating your help with the goats and occasionally going to the market with Lucy Gray and Maude Ivory to get food. It was refreshing, to say the very least. Everyday you felt yourself unwinding more and more.
"Do you play any instruments, Y/N?" Maude Ivory asks you, skipping to catch up to you as you hike down a trail out to the lake with the rest of the covey.
"I do, actually." You nod at her, a small smile on your face. "Try three."
"Three!" She claps excitedly. "What do you play? You'll have to perform with us! Do they have different instruments where you're from?"
"Not really." You giggle, putting your hands in the pockets of your bright red skirt. "I play the piano, and the violin, which is just like Clerk Carmine's fiddle, but much more boring, and a harp, if you've ever heard of that."
"You play the fiddle?" The young girl smiles.
"Not like he does." You smile at the boy as he walks ahead of you, not paying any attention.
"I'm sure you're just as well." Lucy Gray interjects, bumping her shoulder with yours as she walks next to you. "Maude Ivory, you should hear her projection. I'm yet to hear her sing, but boy, can she yell."
"I can't sing." You laugh, shaking your head. "Back home you don't sing unless you're training for the opera, and you have to start that around the same time you learn to walk. My parents would rather me learn the piano."
"Then why am I the one yellin' at all our shows? You should step up." Maude Ivory giggles, and you just shake your head, ruffling her hair.
"I definitely couldn't do it nearly as well as you." You insist. "Besides, I have stage fright." You joke, mostly to get her off your back.
She laughs as she fixes her hair, running to catch up with the kids in front of her.
"She just adores you." Lucy Gray smiles. "It's nice to have a new face around."
You smile, watching Maude Ivory collect flowers from the side of the road. "She reminds me of my brother. They're about the same age."
"Right, you lent me his guitar." Lucy Gray says, a particular sadness in her tone tipping you off that she believes you should be upset about leaving him. You miss him, sure, but he's better off now with you gone. Besides, he couldn't be any worse than you. Your parents have always doted over him, and there's no doubt in your mind that now that you are gone, it's multiplied.
"Yes. That's him." You reply, accompanying a moment of silence between the two of you.
"Do you miss him?"
"Sure." You nod, kicking a small stone down the path in front of you. "But he's better off without me there. That brings me enough peace to sleep at night."
"Hey, can I ask you something?"
"Shoot." You smile at her, grateful for the change of topic.
"What happened to Coriolanus?" For the first time in weeks, you feel a pinch of discontent in your gut at her question.
"I don't know." You lie, shrugging your shoulders. You don't even know why you felt the urge to lie at all, you knew he was here somewhere but you hadn't seen him once. Out of sight, out of mind is what you have been trying to convince yourself. "He's alive, I'm sure. Peacekeeping in one of the districts probably."
"Oh, I was hoping you would know more."
"It would be nice." You agree. "But he's not exactly in my good graces at the moment."
"It feels so out of character for him to betray you like that, doesn't it?" Lucy Gray asks.
You laugh, shaking your head. "It was unusual. That's what I thought, anyway." You sigh, giving a slight shrug. "I haven't told anyone, but we had... I don't know, a moment, a few weeks ago. During the games. Just a couple of days later and he's throwing me under the bus like I meant nothing to him. We've been friends for years- I thought everything was about to change for the better, and then..."
"That's cruel." She says disapprovingly. "I bet he's sorry now that you're gone with the wind. He's regretting it. I promise you that much."
You smile slightly at the thought, allowing yourself to entertain it, if only for a moment. "He better be."
"Is that for me? Oh, c'mon y'all, you know that I gave up drinkin' when I was twelve..." Lucy Gray says, taking a sip out of the clear liquor bottle someone in the audience handed to her. "Oh, It's to clear my pipes, just to clear my pipes." She clarifies, tossing the bottle back into the audience.
Coriolanus watches leaning against the side wall of The Hob. He's happy to see that Lucy Gray is back to doing what she loved, and she made it home alive and well. He's also more than pleased to finally get off the barracks for something other than work. "Now, who's ready for a song, huh?" She smiles, looking down off the stage to her right. "Okay, comin' right up. First, I'd like to introduce to the stage with a big welcome, a grand ole friend of mine, The lovely Sage!" She says, giggling at her rhyme as another girl climbs up on stage, giving Maude Ivory and Lucy Gray a quick hug each.
Coriolanus looks away as the crowd cheers, scanning the crowd for Sejanus who had just excused himself to grab a drink a couple minutes ago. He's wondering where his roommate could have disappeared to when Lucy Gray's friend starts speaking.
"Well hello, everyone, so lovely to meet you all! I have never felt so welcome anywhere." His head snaps back to the stage. He'd know that Capitol accent anywhere, even as you pause to allow any cheers to quiet down. "I mean that." You grin, hands clutched to your chest. "And that feels so good, considering Lucy Gray all but forced me up here." You laugh, draping an arm over her shoulder, letting her take back over. How could this be real? Coryo is tempted to rub his eyes or pinch himself to make sure he's even awake. He was so sure you were dead, but despite the different name and completely different clothes, he was positive it was you. The pang in his chest made that obvious, along with the wave of surrealism that suddenly surrounded him so all he could see was you.
"Now, my beautiful girl Sage here will be taking over for our friend on the fiddle, we'll give the band a quick break, and we're gonna have a bit of a change of pace while she's lending us her talents." Lucy Gray says, and Coriolanus watches as you take the beat-up violin from the young boy gratefully. He knew you played, but he hadn't heard it for years. You looked so calm, something he wasn't sure he had seen in public since you were young. He can't pull his eyes from your figure as it graces the stage with your presence, lighting up the room even if it was only for him.
A small smile grows on his face as you start to play, several whistles echoing through the room before Lucy Gray even joins in with her singing. He wants to scream, to cheer and clap and yell and tell everyone in this dark, rundown building that this 'Sage' was his. Inarguably and undoubtedly his. Coryo's pride is only curtailed when he recognizes the song; it was the ballad Lucy Gray played in her interview on your brother's guitar.
The sophistication your violin playing brought to the piece almost made it sadder and infinitely more haunting. It's beautiful. Now with your classical touch, the song sets a pit of guilt in his stomach. That somehow, even without you singing, it's now a ballad from you to him.
"Just let me remind you what I am to you..."
He makes eye contact with Lucy Gray as he shifts his gaze away from you. She pauses for only a moment, hands still moving rhythmically over the strings of her guitar. She smiles and nods at him, jaw slightly agape as she glances back at you to see if you noticed him. When it's clear you haven't, she gets back on track with the words within only a moment.
"'Cause I am the one who looks out when you're leaping. I am the one who knows how you were brave..." Your lips turn up in a small smile as she sings, eyes still shut while you focus. Even though he's sure you're thinking of him, it doesn't bring him much consolation. Well, at least you were thinking of him. He would take it.
The song ends as quickly as it starts, and despite the slower tone, the audience is still excited. More so as the band returns to the stage and you return the violin to Clerk Carmine before turning back around to give a bow. You wave out to the audience, reveling in the whistles and praise before reaching out for an extended hand, accepting it as its owner helps you down. "That was stunnin', where'd you learn to play like that? I've never heard anything quite like it." The man asks, still holding your hand out in between you.
"Oh, thank you. I've been playing my whole life." You grin as the music picks up again.
"Can you dance like you can play?" He asks, lifting your arm to spin you.
"I can certainly try." You laugh, going along with it as he pulls you into a more open space of the crowd, and to Coriolanus, it seems like you're taunting him. You're dancing like you don't have a care in the world, dressed in a skirt that looked like it was made out of a red bed sheet cut up and stitched back together in half-hazard squares, and what looked like one of your t-shirts cut up into a tank top that exposes most of your stomach and back. Appallingly too, a smile present on your face that he had dreamt of seeing again one day but was certain he never would. The only problem is that you're dancing with someone else. Not that he was much of a dancer, but he could try if he had known that's what you wanted.
He's planning his method of attack. He can't leave without speaking to you, because he doesn't even know if you'll be back here the next time he gets a day off. Though, based on your appearance and newfound carelessness, it's likely.
His urge is just to kiss you, but the only thing holding him back is that it could set you off. If you hadn't heard his apology from miles away, would you still be angry at him? But actions speak louder than words. He knows that physicality works with you, and it was hard to deny that he hadn't dreamt of how soft your lips felt on his for weeks. One time was just simply not enough for Coryo.
Coriolanus scowls as the man you're dancing with spins you again, making you laugh as he drapes an arm around your waist.
Maybe he should get Sejanus, see if he's seen you yet.
Another spin, and a hand sliding lower down your bare back as the man pulls you closer, his fingers landing on the waistband of your skirt. When was the last time that scumbag had so much as washed his hands? Coryo wonders to himself, rage boiling up under his skin.
Kiss her. Definitely kiss her.
But if the song choice was any indicator, you definitely weren't pleased with him. It couldn't be, though, because how would you know he would be in attendance? Coryo finds his feet carrying him through the crowd, pushing past a dozen carelessly drunk people in his effort to get to you before he's even thought it all through.
Your brow furrows as a body forces itself between you and your dancing partner. "Hey! What are you-" You cut yourself off, hypnotized by the cold blue eyes staring down at you.
That's my girl. Even though you're angry, Coriolanus is grateful to be the object of your gaze once more.
"'Scuse me, man, do you mind?" The man says, making an effort to push Coryo away. He turns, and before you can intervene he's swinging his fist right at the other guy's face, finding its target in a fraction of a second.
He stumbles back, grabbing his face as it immediately drips blood from his nose onto the floor. There are gasps in the crowd as it disperses around you.
"Hey, settle down, settle down now." You hear Lucy Gray call out amidst the music playing in the background while you grab the back of Coryo's shirt, pulling him back before he continues to beat up your dancing partner.
"Coriolanus, what are you doing here?" You shout over the music. He shakes out his fist, turning back to you now and grabbing your face, pulling you closer to kiss you instead of dignifying you with a response. His actions would certainly speak louder.
You want to be angry, but that falters as you feel his lips on yours again, his hands planted firmly on either side of your waist as he holds onto you so tight you weren't sure breathing was an option- even if you could. You followed him here, of course you wanted to see him, but how could he betray you so easily and expect forgiveness in a kiss?
It takes you longer than it probably should to build up the courage to place your hands on his chest, shoving him back. "What is wrong with you?" You spit, looking him up and down in the blue uniform signified of a peacekeeper off duty.
"What's wrong with me?" He asks, looking around and gauging how many people were even taking notice. "What do you mean, Y/N/N, I wanted to-" Clearly you hadn't heard his silent apology, or it just wasn't enough.
"Hey!" You hiss, jumping at him and attempting to cover his mouth at the use of your nickname, and he quickly swats away your hand. "Let's go. Outside, now." You shove him back by his chest, pointing towards the exit.
You look up at Lucy Gray on stage, still singing as she watches you nervously. You give her a nod and a small reassuring smile before linking arms with Coryo and guiding him toward the door. Just like old times.
taglist: @keziahcore, @kitscutie, @annaelise, @serrendiipty, @fratboyharrysgf0201, @totallynotkaibiased, @stelleduarte, @klplynn, @secretsicanthideanymore, @bejeweledreverie, @gloryekaterina, @andrewgarfieldsbitch, @queenofspades6, @pepperonipastas, @ladybug0095, @lunamothwrites, @sbrewer21, @mus-tbe-a-weasley, @splxtscreen, @unclecrunkle, @karmaswitch, @coconut-dreamz, @nekee-lilac02, @ooooglymoooogly, @riddlerloveb0t, @lovedbalances, @notyourwildestdream, @snowlandson-top, @too-lit-for-fanfic, @utopiakys, @deafeningballoonnacho, @roosterschanelslut, @chmpgneprblem, @cosmoetik, @lauravanderbooben20, @dry0campa, @luclue, @lokidala, @urvampgfsworld, @carolanns-world @nan-nie, @shakespearseclipse, @iovemoonyy, @notyoursweetheart-honey, @xyzstar, @eatpizzasass, @slytherinholland, @queenofshinigamis, @elodiebeau, @soulessjourney
i've closed my taglist for coryo now!! sorry to everyone who wanted to be added, but unfortunately there was significantly more demand than i expected and i sadly just cant tag everyone. BUT! if you still want notifications when i post for this fic, please turn on my post notifs!!
#tbosas#tbosas fic#tbosas x reader#coriolanus x you#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus x reader#the hunger games#thg fanfic#thg fanfiction#thg series#coryo snow
537 notes
·
View notes
Note
(not a request, just wanted to share💗💗💗💗💗) I saw this on a prompt list “I wasn’t ready to say goodbye” and why is this so bfs dad joel and reader😢 my heart ughhhh
also yes to the glasses
words (boyfriend's dad!joel x f!reader) 18+
ik you said this wasn't a request, anon but this inspired me so much ;-; get ready for sadness. combining this with a request from @rrrrosie: Okay, boyfriends dad has been on my mind like crazy! Like I swear I’d just slip and tell him ‘I love you’. And he’d totally try and not say it back even if he wants to because he knows the situation they are in is so messed up. But omg he’s such a SAFE character. Idk Maybe this is a request?? Idk 😭
this fic is a direct sequel to "prove it". you can find the other fics in this series on my masterlist. and here's my kofi if you'd like to leave a tip!
summary: you and joel are left reeling from your boyfriend's discovery. rating: 18+ explicit (minors, do not interact) warnings: daddy!kink, oral (m receiving), praise kink word count: 2.2k
it's been a week since you last saw your boyfriend, since that moment in his car where you'd suspected he knew what was going on between you and his dad. it's been one long week of anxiety, worry, sadness, and now - acceptance.
joel hasn't texted you since that night and you have no idea if something happened, if your boyfriend went home and confronted him. you figured it might take a few days for them to sort out their issues, but a week? a week with complete radio silence? it's so uncharacteristic for them to be so distant, especially your boyfriend who you thought would've come back to give you a piece of his mind.
you've now accepted that things have changed. what exactly that change is, you don't know, but you're desperate to find out. the distance from your boyfriend has been welcome, even a relief, but the distance from joel...your heart aches just thinking about it. you want him to hold you again and tell you everything will be okay.
so when you show up on their front porch on a sunday afternoon you're not sure what to expect. you ring the doorbell and wait, biting your lip and fidgeting while you wait to see who'll greet you.
you feel warmth flood your chest when joel opens it, a soft smile spreading on his face when he sees it's you; he looks tired, like he hasn't slept properly in a few days, "hi."
you don't say anything, just rush forward and wrap your arms around him tightly, feeling tears already stinging in your eyes. it's been a whole week without seeing him and the emotions you feel are almost too much, all the worry you'd felt bubbling to the surface again as you bury your face in his neck.
"shhh, it's okay," he whispers, rubbing your back soothingly, "i'm sorry."
"joel," you whimper into his jacket, shutting your eyes tight and letting a sob wrack through you, "daddy."
he seems to stiffen under your touch at the name, and when you pull back to look at him you're beyond confused to see that he seems uncomfortable, grimacing a bit as he pulls out of your embrace. you feel your mouth downturn into a frown, tears spilling down your face.
"you don't want me to call you that anymore," it's a statement, not a question. you can sense the truth of it in his body language, in the way he looks at you now like he's about to break some awful news to you, "this is over, isn't it?"
he exhales deeply at the question, "come inside," he says softly, tugging on your arm and urging you to follow him, "let's talk."
nothing good can come from this.
you walk down the hall slowly, joel leading you with your hand in his as you reach the staircase and begin to climb. you assess the house a bit, looking around for any sign of your boyfriend.
"he's not here," joel says quietly, "he doesn't live here anymore."
you're not sure what to make of that, eyes still scanning the house once you reach the upstairs hallway. you and joel head for his office, a path you've crossed many times before but never in such a state of dread. something bad is going to happen, you can feel it.
you enter his office and settle on the couch, crossing your arms and watching him shut the door behind you. he doesn't bother to lock it; if what he said is true, your boyfriend won't be interrupting you this time.
"why can't i call you daddy?" you ask immediately, voice firm and serious, trying not to let the tears still flowing down your face completely betray you.
he sighs, squeezes the bridge of his nose under his glasses and walks over to you. he nudges you, quietly asking you to make room for him to sit beside you.
"a lot has happened," he says softly, reaching out to take your hand and squeezing it gently, "i just...i need to talk to you like an adult."
it's only then that you realize he hasn't used a single one of your pet names when he's spoken to you. no baby, babygirl, angel, nothing. it's almost like he's being too formal, like this is some kind of business transaction and not a real conversation.
"what happened?" you breathe, tears still streaming down your face, "what did he do? does he know?"
he almost laughs at your questions but without any humor, shaking his head slowly and reaching into his back pocket to show you his phone, "he looked at our messages."
your blood runs cold; you and joel haven't texted that much but your messages are more than enough proof for your boyfriend to have realized what was going on.
"oh god," you murmur, "so he...he knows knows."
"he knows you call me daddy, yeah," he says quietly, voice slightly rough with anger, "he said i was a sick man."
"you're not," you say immediately, shaking your head and inching forward a bit more on the couch, "joel, you're not. i want it just as much as you do, you know that."
"i know," he closes his eyes then, takes a deep breath, "anyway, he said he couldn't look at me the same anymore. said it made him sick to his stomach. not just because it was with you, it was everything as a whole," his mouth twists and you can hear raw emotion in his voice, "he moved out, i don't know where he went. i just hope he's alright."
"i don't give a fuck about him," you reply coldly, "i could care less."
"you're not his father," joel replies, shaking his head, "he's hurting, i hurt him."
"by doing what? so i call you daddy, so fucking what?" you feel anger begin to burn in your stomach, "yeah i cheated on him but that's on me, not you. you didn't do anything."
he pulls back from you, releasing your hand and standing up to walk over to his desk. you watch as he settles in the chair across from you and tilts his head back to look at the ceiling.
"it's wrong," he says, voice breaking at the words, "i know it feels good but it's wrong and it has to stop."
you look at him with an expression of pure disbelief, brow furrowing in sadness and confusion. he looks over at you once, just once, and you see he's fighting back tears just saying the words.
"you don't mean that and we both know it," you whisper, shaking your head, "this is more than some silly game we play together, you know that."
he takes a breath, leans forward and puts his head in his hands, "don't say that," he murmurs, voice muffled.
"we care about each other," you continue, standing up and walking over to the chair where he sits, "joel, why the fuck do you think i call you daddy? really?"
he slowly pulls his face up from his hands to look at you, tears swimming in his eyes, "don't," he breathes, "please."
"you're the only person in my life who's ever truly taken care of me," you kneel down so you're at his level, reaching forward to take both his hands in yours, "yeah you fuck me, you use me when i ask you to, but you protect me. you hold me. you listen to me and you kiss me and you mean it." you drop his hands and slowly ease your palms over his thighs, squeezing gently, "i feel so safe when i'm with you, joel."
you hear the low rumble of a groan in his throat as he looks down at you on your knees, thumbing his thighs. "what are you doin'?"
"just let me take care of you," you whisper, tears drying on your face as you reach forward to pop the button on his jeans, "please, joel. just this once and then i'll leave."
you can see the protests burning behind his lips but he doesn't say any of them. he watches as you pull down his zipper and take his cock out, already half hard. he'd said last time that he was always turned on by just seeing you, hugging you; it hadn't been a lie.
"just feel it, don't think," you whisper, then carefully wrap your lips around the tip of his cock.
he hums immediately, jaw going slack as he watches you swallow him down, already growing harder in the wet heat of your mouth. you feel his hands in your hair, pulling you closer as you slowly bob up and down. it's different this time; he's not the man who protects you and always gives you what you want. he's just joel, your ex boyfriend's father who deserves a quiet moment of pleasure for himself.
he whispers your name; not a pet name, your actual name. it's rare for either of you to just be completely yourselves in a moment like this. there's always been the added sexy addition of the power dynamic, the words that separate you both from being on the same level. but that's not what this is.
"just like that," he whispers, "fuck, that feels good."
he's fully hard now, the head of his cock bumping against the back of your throat. you do your best not to gag, holding him there and swallowing around him as his hips buck gently. you reach up and thumb the v of his hips, still half hidden by his underwear. your eyes are hooded and hazy but you can see his soft belly and his happy trail, all the parts of him you love most.
you pull off to take a few breaths, drool spilling down your chin as you slowly stoke him, looking up at him with a soft smile as he peers down at you. you lean forward and press a kiss to the fat head, lap up his precome and revel in the way he moans.
"tell me when you're close," you breathe, then take his full length in your mouth again and start to bob up and down a bit faster, nails digging lightly into his skin.
he holds your hair firmly, helps you move back and forth on his dick as you give him what he needs, "i love your mouth so much," you hear him groan softly, shakily, "you're so fucking perfect."
tears sting your eyes but you're not sure if it's from your actions or his words. either way you feel your throat tighten around him and he groans again, low and deep.
"gonna come," he warns you softly.
you nod but don't remove yourself from him, just take him as deep as you can and hum around his length, urging him on. it only takes a few more bobs of your head before his hand is tightening in your hair and he's coming in your mouth.
"fuck," he groans out, trembling beneath you.
you wait until he's stopped coming to slowly pull yourself from his cock. he looks down at you, looking more tired and sleepy than he had when he'd first opened the door for you. without him asking you to, you open your mouth and show him the thick globs of his come pooling on your tongue.
"swallow." he whispers.
you do as you're told.
there's a few moments of silence as you carefully slip him back inside his pants and do him back up. his hand stays glued to the back of your head, thumb stroking you gently back and forth as he watches you. he looks exhausted, it makes your heart ache.
"i still want you," you breathe, squeezing his thighs through his jeans again soothingly, "i'll always want you, daddy."
"i know, babygirl," he breathes, barely a whisper, "but you need to give me some time. please."
your grip on his thighs loosen as you peer up at him. he's looking at you with an expression you've never seen before, truly pained and full of sadness. it hurts to look at.
you feel yourself nod slowly, "okay," you whisper, voice shaky, "if that's what you want."
he doesn't say anything else, just watches as you ease up from the floor and walk over to his office door, turning back to give him one last glance before you leave.
"i love you," you whisper, soft and sincere, "but you already know that."
you shut the door behind you and shuffle quietly down the stairs. part of you still expects to hear sound effects from some game coming from your boyfriend's room, but there's nothing. you take a quick peek inside on your way to the front door, eyes widening when you see that the whole room has been cleared out. his gaming set-up is gone, his clothes, even his bed.
the emptiness makes you understand why joel is hurting.
just as you reach the front door you suddenly hear footsteps coming from behind you. you turn, surprised to see joel appear on the stairs.
"joel?" you ask softly, confused.
he walks toward you and fully embraces you in a tight hug, holding you close to him in the way you love most. you hug him back immediately without any hesitation, squeezing his body and making sure he feels just as safe and protected as you do.
"i wasn't ready to say goodbye," he whispers, still holding you tight.
you let him hold you for as long as he needs.
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Could you make fluffy headcanons for Lo’ak? Babie deserves some luv 🥹
YES!! I need more asks for lo’ak bc I love writing for my man😩
Warnings~ some suggestive themes, but other than that none! Just fluff<3
Dividers by ~ @cafekitsune
🎀 ~ babyboy actually adores you sm:( he’s such a little lovesick puppy it’s so cute
🎀~ like, one time you had to go away for a hunting trip, and the second you got back home he was practically glued to you. Telling you how much he missed you and how much he loved you:(
🎀~ loves when you play with his hair, or when you braid it (and ofc he does the same to u)
🎀~ ik we ALLL know it, but he’s such a “my love/ma tìyawn” , “ma” , “mama” “mamas”, typa guy and it SHOWS
🎀~ always checks up on you, like hes so in tune with you’re emotions. He can tell what’s bothering you just by your body language and breathing
🎀~ always convinces you to do dumb shit with him😭 and if you’re already naturally a reckless person you’d just add to his fire
🎀~ says “again” or “one more, mama” after kissing you (you always giggle and grant his wish ofc)
🎀~ holds and kisses you when you’ve had a bad day, having cramps or if you’re feeling a certain way:(
🎀~ always makes time for you, no matter what. He cares for you and he makes sure you know it.
🎀~ hates the people you hate, and if he catches them talking about you, you will be coming home to him with bloody hands and a bruised face.(the others looked worse tho!)
🎀~ will randomly compliment you when you’re doing something, just to see you get all giddy and excited
🎀~ hugs from behind, and amazing hand placement 😩
🎀~ “hyper bf 🫱🏽🫲🏾 hyper gf“
🎀~ loves to cuddle. Will literally pull you onto him (because he’s always taking advantage of how much more stronger he is than you) and force you to cuddle with him. And if you try to get off he’ll just lay on top of you!
“Lo’ak! Please! Get off of me! You’re too heavyy!” You shout, but he could care less. He was too busy shoving his face into the softness of your tits.
“I don’t care! You’ve been up for way too long and I need you to relax.” He demanded, pressing more of his body weight onto you.
You huff in annoyed, opening your mouth to say let out a snarky comment, but closing it the second he lifts his head up to glare at you like he knew what you were going to say. Finally making you submit to his advance, falling asleep under the comfortable weight of his body immediately.
🎀~ knows you have a tendency to overthink, so he’ll constantly be there to reassure you. And you always do the same for him.
🎀~ whenever he gets into in argument with his dad/ just has a bad day, he’ll always go straight to you. And you always know by the way his ears and tail hang all low and his his shoulders are slightly ridged, so without hesitation you take him into your arms (barley tho) and stroke his hair gently, allowing him to finally relax as he tells you briefly what happened.
🎀~ will pick you up randomly and throw you over his shoulder/ carry you bridal style. Especially if you’re talking to someone and he wants your attention ;(
🎀~ “bf that talks a lot 🫱🏽🫲🏾 gf that also talks a lot, but listens”
A/N~ here’s a lil sum before I start writing for “pandoras glow”! I kinda got a lil bored of writing this so I apologize if it’s a lil short😭 regardless tho I hope you enjoyed! Love you guys endlessly and stay safe💕
~
~
~
Taglist~ @tallulah477 , @hotdsworld , @itchaboi-itchyboy , @xylianasblog , @blue-slxt , @etherial-moon-blog , @criticallybella , @professional-yapper , @plooto , @rivatar , @spooky4spaghetti
(If you’d like to be added to or removed from my general taglist, lmk by commenting on this post or dming me! And if your @ isn’t working please check your settings💕)
#༄❤︎︎𝐣𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬❤︎︎༄#༄❤︎︎𝐣𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬❤︎︎༄#❣︎ꕥ𝒋𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒔ꕥ❣︎#avatar#luvv4j4ybe11#atwow#avatar the way of water#avatar 2#loak sully#atwow loak#lo’ak headcannons#loak fluff#loak x reader#avatar lo’ak#lo’ak sully#lo’ak fluff#lo’ak avatar#lo’ak x reader#lo’ak te suli tsyeyk’itan#lo’ak x fem!reader
203 notes
·
View notes
Text
I saw a post recently about what could’ve happened to Arabella post-game, but what I need to know is what happened to Yenna.
tldr Larian tell me what happened to my girl wait nvm ik what’s canon to me
Did she stay safe in the Elfsong during the Netherbrain’s attack? How did she feel when all of her heroes left the inn one last time? Whose care did they leave her in?
And then once the dust settles and the fractured remains of the party come back to celebrate, what then?
Maybe after weeks of her helping in the kitchen, the Elfsong’s chef finally begrudgingly admits he’s impressed and takes her on as an apprentice, and she becomes Baldur’s Gate’s finest. She grows up as the gate grows back.
Maybe Rion meets her in the midst of celebration and sees a companion for Fig in her, and asks if she wants a quieter place to sleep. Elerrathin’s Home finds a new balance as she settles in. Slowly, she has a family again. A home.
The companions might have something in mind for her. In awe of Tav’s magic, she could admit she wants to learn, and Gale enrolls her in the finest wizarding classes in Waterdeep. Shadowheart decides a little extra help on the farm wouldn’t hurt. (Dad)Astarion, longing for rest, suggests quietly that she can come with him, just for a while. If she wants! That on the road they might find a little peace, if not a little adventure too. (In my hc he’d only be brave enough to suggest it if he’s with Tav but I digress.)
Maybe her path only crosses with the companions again once she’s a little older. Minsc meets her in the city and recruits her good heart in his quest to change the Guild. Wyll and Karlach or Lae’zel return to the gate and find she’s become a young adventurer, a Baldurian through and through.
My favorite of her potential fates ironically is what’s most likely to be canon—Halsin sees her after their celebrations. She’s so tired. Their fellowship is breaking, and so is her something of a family. He knows the exhaustion hovering over fear in her eyes all too well. He wants to see light in them again.
So he takes her with him. Back in nature, she learns how to be a child again.
Brb going to go cry over Yenna. I love that little girl.
(I know we’re not getting a BG4 from Larian at least, but imagine a little sequel where you play as Yenna a few years later. Or any of the kids—Mol, Arabella, Fig. That would be so special.)
#bg3#bg3 headcanons#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#Yenna#bg3 yenna#bg3 halsin#bg3 spoilers#astarion#bg3 karlach#gale dekarios#bg3 lae'zel#gale of waterdeep#bg3 Wyll#bg3 astarion#bg3 minsc#bg3 jaheira#bg3 gale#baldurs gate is melting my brain#bg3 act 3 spoilers#bg3 hcs#bg3 ending#dadstarion#halsin#halsin headcanons#bg3 prompts#bg3 orin#baldur’s gate 3#drin drin the paladin#bg3 fic prompt
146 notes
·
View notes